#i have an assignment now i guess i have to go to walmart

[cetoddle]

one of the pharmacy techs had a snoopy sweater on so i complimented it and she said oh thank you i got it at walmart you should get one too. and then walked away

[clowncar27]

RANT !!! THIS IS A RANT !!!

What was my birthday gift to myself? A job, apparently. Recently got a job at Walmart as a stocker (yipee!)- been working for a week, I think? It's pretty weird and new. Honestly thought I wasn't going to get the job bc I got so nervous during the interview, I couldn't even answer the first question I got. Anxiety sucks balls.

The job is okay, nothing really upsets me except the palette jacks. I swear those things hate me! I accidentally rolled over my foot once, they're stupid hard to steer. I see my coworkers handle them with such ease, and like- hey! Gimme your power. I'll get good eventually- That and socializing. I'm not good at talking to people

At orientation I was put stocking clothes, mostly pants- I didn't like folding, suck at that, but I liked finding out where things went and making them look neat. Honestly I hope I'm not put with apparel again. During training I worked on the paper towels and tissues, which was fun. I watched as someone took one and left it on the floor at the other end of the aisle. Oh! and I found a Pokemon card underneath the shelves.

I noticed I'm poor when I comes to helping the costumers find things- I know I shop there, but...idk where shit is tbh! Someone asked where the meat sticks where- Kabobs- and I was of no help. Found them the other day, they're in the party sections!! The party sections!! No way I would've guessed that! I actively dread the first and last hours of my shift bc I hate saying "idk" to people.

At the moment, I like the sections I've been assigned to. I'm in the art, office, and party section (yay!)- Love paper... and yarn! A few things I remember, I had two items so far I had trouble lifting. Now I'm not that strong, I sit on my ass all day, but I figured it out. The first was those bulk of computer papers, crushed my finger, terrible first impression. I didn't want to ask for help, don't like asking for help, but I did manage to lift it with my knee.

The second was this safe- lucky for me, someone left a rather ominous cart in the middle of the aisle, so I used that to move it. Honestly thought I was gonna break the cart, it was one of those small ones.

Other things uh... a weird looking bug came out of one box. Got scared and killed it with my box cutter. Didn't find anymore so I wasn't concerned. I almost fell off the topstock ladder bc it started rolling suddenly, so now I shake it before stepping on. My new favorite phrase is "I love gutting boxes!"

Overall the job is pretty nice, I'm always on the move. I made my goal of 25 Km in Pokemon Go so ig that says something! I always have this goofy smile on my face, so that’s good. I love that I'm alone for the most part, and I feel very satisfied when I can solve problems on my own. And oh boy, I can't wait to get paid! I wanna buy...fnaf stuff.. Youtooz Mxes figure... Hex Withered Freddy... !!! Uhh Mario Partyy!! cool stuff like that lmao

The only downside is not being able to draw and watch youtube 24/7, but I'll work around that, quite literally. Upside is I can listen to music

Okay I'm bored of typing, goodbye.

[frogsandfries]

I got off work last night, ate some food, struggled to type up some more Darger. Went to bed at seven, barely woke up for my alarm at ten, slept basically till five, went back to sleep till my alarm went off.

Yesterday, I was informed that another group also digitized the Realms of the Unreal, so I'm going to reach out to them, see if they got better scans.

While I am grateful for the overtime, I need to get an insurance that I can actually afford to use. So I absolutely have to hustle on Monday and try to get that set up before I get over to the dentist. This overtime is the only reason I can afford this dentist trip.

I urgently have to get some more of the caffeine gummies I've been using at work. I didn't expect my tolerance to rise so rapidly. I'm using about five quarters of a gummy a day, sometimes six. Next week, at this rate, it'll be nine quarters @.@ it's gonna be a bitch to come off that much caffeine. Now I'm mentally tabulating how many packets of gummies I need to get when I finally get over there. I really meant to go last night but.......I literally went straight to bed.

Good thing too. I guess there's a wannabe-arsonist in my neighborhood 🙄😮‍💨 because of course there is.........

Yeah, my desire not to go outside in this neighborhood after dark, especially by myself, increases.

I haven't done any of my pre-shift things this morning. Every morning, it gets harder and harder to get started. I got the store portion of my Walmart order last night, underwear, ensure, neosporin, Tylenol. I need a lot of household-y potions and chemicals--I'm running out of shampoo and lotion. I'm out of vitamins and cat food. I still need to go grocery shopping. There are, particularly kitchen, utensils that I'm realizing that I never acquired. Some of these would be fine from the dollar store. Some of them, I actually need to pay for.

I don't remember if I mentioned, but I got a fair bit of feedback on the Darger Project. Once I get solid responses, I guess I'll start assigning chunks of pages. I figured a hundred pages would be a great start. This is so cool. It might not take ten years to type it up!

[kdrip]

Come, one come all to the everlasting tale of the polite Pip and passive aggressive Po; the story comes to you all live from my living room, as I look up to see two black fur blobs on my kitchen table, I am reminded of the unfortunate outcome of transitioning predominantly indoor animals to that of the domesticated sort. It seems my cats have acquired fleas, and I don’t know if you have ever had fleas, but I am here to tell you about fleas. The fleas come and they never really leave. It seems that one female egg can actually hold 100,000 baby fleas!!! OK well that is a bit of an exaggeration, however, it has been about 3 1/2 months and these fleas are still remaining and residing in my home. This morning I went to check on my crazy little cats, as I do every day. Each morning they wake me up chirp chirp chirpin’ along with the birds asking for food. I followed them into the kitchen where I bent over to give my pets some pets and I said “hello good morning how are my babies today.” the usual, and then I checked him for fleas. This has quickly become my daily routine almost obsessively, but I can not stop because once again this morning, I went to scratch my big boy cat Po, and he has fleas!!!! So here I am just a wee little princess in the faraway kingdom, sprinkling diatomaceous earth all around everything. It is like it’s snowing in the middle of July but that doesn’t stop me from going to the pool while the magic stuff does it’s thing. Upon coming back though, you guessed it; it turns out diatomaceous earth does not work as quickly as I originally hoped and thought.. my mom swore by it and Walmart swore by it working instantly, but based on my experience and research diatomaceous earth only works four hours after the application and dusting, so my cats were sitting here scratching and itching and freaking out, when I could have just put them in a flea be gone bath to avoid this. Oh well, that will teach you to check on the Google reviews before using the new products recommended by Mom. Nothing more came of it so I simply vacuumed off the remnants of their existence from before I left and tending to the babies. No hate no shade to mom. It does work after all just takes four hours, not just a little application and then the things start dying off.

Finally, going forward I think it’s safe to say that outdoor cats are not meant to be outdoor cats. Cats did their best for hundreds of years to train humans to domesticate them. Who was I kidding trying to get them to come outside and walk my paths and trails and take trips to the pool? Just do my outdoor activities and maybe get a dog. Maybe that’s what I have learned from this blog assignment. It’s time to get a dog. Only the future will know what holds for Pip and Po and their kingdom but for now it is time for fighting fleas. This has been a wonderful experience and I am very thankful and grateful to my awesome and informative Professor Tyra Burton because I have learned so much from this experience and sharing more about my little fur baby family has definitely improved my social media skills, so thank you to anyone who is engaged with these posts and until next time, peace!

[chris-riviers]

Entering the Workforce

  We’ve already covered that in today’s world, everyone is replaceable at work, that they can and usually do let you go without a moment’s notice or any chance to make ANY type of preparations.If you haven’t read about it you can click here and get caught up. Today, I want to discuss, for those just entering the workforce for the first time, or perhaps re-entering after an extended vacation or early retirement, how to better your chances of being let go and/or replaced so easily. 

I’ve seen it and heard about it time and time again. Kids just getting out of college with their diploma and a certificate of license for their chosen field thinking they are going to get that high-paying job right out of the gate! Welcome to reality. Unfortunately you and everyone in your graduating class, as well as those of the graduating year from colleges all over the country, are leaving with that same mindset. To throw a name and number on it, let’s say you just graduated from a business school, and now have a degree in management, HR, or accounting. You are 1 in roughly 200,000 throughout the country now flooding the economy with your resumes. Only one of you will get the job though. I’ll let you in on a little secret… it’s going to be the one whose parents know somebody who knows somebody, or the one with the most real life experience outside of your schooling. You should always go after your dreams, but everyone needs to realize that the easiest traveled road is always going to be the most congested. 

Now, it’s time to try the indirect approach. Apply for a lower position. I know this isn’t as glamorous, but guess what… starting from a lower position, allows you to gain valuable information that those at the top aren’t even privy too! Lets use Walmart as an example. 

Starting as a cashier, unloader, stocker, or inventory personnel is going to allow you a much wider door to get your foot in! In doing so, you will also make valuable connections with your team and listen to the problems they see as well as see these problems first hand. 

Next, as long as you’re putting in the work and doing a good job, speak with your supervisor and express your interest in wanting to learn more so you can possibly move up if and when a position becomes available! This step doesn’t need to be a year or more down the road, but it will vary from person to person as work ethic will change from person to person. 

After obtaining the desired knowledge, and becoming great at your job, express your interest in moving up to a department manager and when you finish whatever work you may have been assigned, set forth and aid those in the low-speed high-drag category. 

By this time you should have received the promotion. Now, you repeat steps 1-3 and start all over in your new position! After doing this, you need to start reaching out to others in your departments, your subordinates, and talk with them. Aide them if need be, but make a personal connection. You don’t need to become friends or lovers! Just show them you care, and ALWAYS make sure your customers know you care!

After whatever time you feel is necessary in this position and are ready to move up, start learning the next position while teaching those under your guidance you position (if you haven’t been already). 

That’s it! Simple enough, no? Once you have reached the fifth step above, everything repeats and that door will get narrower and narrower but guess what… not just your foot but your entire body is already through, cutting that prospect window down for you significantly! It took a little more time, yes, but you now have your fancy piece of paper and two or three years of experience, and references! Now, if you want to explore different avenues and possibilities you will have a leg up on everyone else, except of course those who have seven or eight years of experience and have made more connections. 

In the end, what it will almost always boil down to are those connections! Maybe while you were at Walmart, you didn’t realize it because she kept it personal but Sally was going to school for her MBA, or Joe was going for his Master’s in business? As long as you were a good human-being to them, you made those connections and now they are working with the company you are looking at and can speak up on your behalf? Perhaps, even, they reached out to you on one of your days off and expressed their observations of your work ethic, team work ability, and leadership and now they want to offer you a job doubling your salary for a job you would still enjoy doing!  The takeaway here is, no matter where you are, treat everyone as a human-being. Respect is always earned, and if they don’t want to earn it then they aren’t worth allowing to have it. 

[atravisphilepsclicker]

Can I get comfort from sal? So trans male reader keeps his binder on to long to the point of bruises and pain? You can chose headcanons or a one shot it’s up to you •3•

Summary: Sal comes home from his supermarket job to see you were in your shared bedroom in your shared apartment and asks how long you kept your binder on after you answer him he tries to help you with the pain.

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Word Count:1654

Pronouns: he/him

Gender: trans male

Warning: mentions of dysphoria, bruising, back pain and small injury

Modern AU

You both are in high school and Sal has a part-time job at the town Walmart.

Y/N = your name

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3rd Person POV

Sal stood in front of the apartment door with the card key in his left hand and was texting the group gc ( with him, todd, larry, ashily, maple and chug ). He turned off his phone and slid the key into the card lock and a small light turned red to green showing that it was unlocked.

Walking into the apartment Sal was met with silence. It didn’t worry him but he wondered where you were when he came home from work you usually were sitting on the couch doing something to pass the time as you waited for him but you weren’t there to give him his usual greeting of “ Hey, Sal, “ or “ Hey, blue! “

Sal then locked the door, took off his shoes, and put them on the boot rack on the door’s left side. Sal stood upright and walked into the living room and that’s when he heard it, “ Oh you’re home, Welcome back! “ Sal heard you greet him from the bedroom. The bedroom door was half open leaving him being able to see you laying on the bed in the room. Sal walked over to the door and opened it and leaned on the door frame.

He looked at you, you were so handsome laying there your legs laying straight on the bed as you scrolled on your phone. You had a tired look on your face and you bet your ass your amazing boyfriend Sal noticed and frowned, furrowing his brow. “ So how was your day today? You look tired. “ Sal asked with a slightly worried tone. You look at him with a small smile and turn off your phone, putting it on the nightstand beside your side of the bed.

“ It was fine I haven’t had a lot of sleep since I was trying to finish the dam book assignment T/N gave us. I did ask todd to help me after I finished pulling out my hair a little. So it’s done now and I won’t have to return to hell for a few days till our next assignment. But other than that I’ve had a fine day. “ You told the blue-haired male that was now on sitting on the bed beside you legs crossed with one hand holding his face listening to you.

You looked at him and asked, “ So how was your day at work? I guess the boss gave you overtime at the store again? “ You asked since he came home 2 hours later than his work schedule had said. “ Yeah, sorry! I tried to get off earlier but she just gave me so many things to do! “ He said annoyed. You leaned on one side wincing at the bit of pain moving gave you and Sal noticed. Sal was not a genius but when he saw you do that it didn’t take long for him to remember the last time a few months ago you didn’t take off your binder for longer than it intended. “ Hey, love how long have you had your binder on? “ He asked with tones of worry in his voice. You saw his eyes through the mask, they looked worried for you, the love of his life.

You sigh and close your eyes not wanting to see his reaction, “ 12 hours. “ You say quietly, almost in a mumble. “ Take it off. “ Sal told you with a stern pained voice. You were hesitant not wanting to have terrible dysphoria again, I mean that the entire reason you have had that on for so long and you both knew it. It took a little time to think but you finally surrendered. “ Fine…” You said with an upset sigh. You sat up quickly sending a jolt of pain down your spine making you lay back down and groan in pain. Sal quickly moved over to you and held your arm with one hand. “ Do you need me to help get up? It must be really painful to move. “ Sal asked rubbing circles on your arm. You make a pained smile, “ That would be really nice of you blue, thank you. “

Sal moved, straightening his back. “ Okay, first let’s sit you up just tell me when you’re ready to move and ill put my hand behind your back and push you up slowly. “ Sal told you. You waited for a minute for the pain to die down a little and told him you were ready. Sal slid his hand under the lower side of your back knowing your upper back must be in so much pain right at the moment.“ K, one...two...three! “ Sal started to move you up slowly and steadily.

Once you sat up Sal helped you lean your back on the backboard of your bed. After that Sal got off the bed and stood beside you. “ You alright? “ He asked squatting down to lead his head in your lap. “ Yeah, I’m fine just in a little bit of pain but no worries! “ You answer as you twirl a few of Sal’s soft blue locks in your fingers. “ Well...if you’re sure you’ll be fine then do you think we could try to stand you up and get that binder off of you? “ He asked in a caring tone. “ Yeah, we could try but I think I might fall over if I do. “ You cucked. SaL then stood up and held both of your arms. “ You know you don’t need to hold me like this right? “ You say as you steadily move up wincing at the pain your binder gave you to move. “ I know I just want to make sure you’re safe and won’t get hurt more than you already are. “ He started concentrating on getting you to stand up. Once you finally stood up he started getting your shirt off as you looked away embarrassed and disgusted. “ Why are you okay seeing my disgusting body? “ You aked as Sal threw your shirt on the bad behind you both. He looked bad at you and put his hand on your face and started rubbing small shapes with his thumb, “ Because I love you, and your handsome body, love. You are anything but disgusting! You're my handsome attractive boyfriend and that's what you'll always be to me, even if you hate how you look ill help you show that you're beautiful! And hey, we can always start saving up for surgery to get them removed if you really want. I’ll do anything to make you happy and I want you to know that but for now, we just need to get that binder off of you. “ He told you. You started to tear up as he started taking it off of you and finally broke down as he also put that down with the discarded shirt. “ Thank you. I love you! “ You cried on her shoulder.

“ Shhhh it’s okay….how about I give you a nice massage to relieve some of the pain? “ Sal asked calming you down slightly. You sniffed a bit and then looked at him with tear stains down your face. “ Yeah, that would be nice….” You said as you lay down in the middle of the bed. Sal sat down beside you and rolled up his sleeves. He first put his hands on your shoulders, thankfully they were warm and he started messaging the notes out. It felt good and you gave a big sigh. He then moved to where your bruises and cuts are from the binder. His hands became softer on your skin and he was careful to relieve some of the pain not give you some more. You felt a wave of relief when the pain died down you didn't even notice when Sal stopped till he said something to you. “ I'm going to get some ointment to put on the bruises! “ He told you walking out of your bedroom.

You stare at the wall in front of you as you listen to his movement, him opening the bathroom door then him opening the cupboard and moving some things around till he found the ointment. You looked over at the door as Sal walked in medicine in hand. He sat back down beside you were still laying on your stomach. “ This is going to be cold on your skin. “ He said opening the medicine and putting some on his finger. He put some on a large bruise and yeah, he was right, it's fucking cold. You wince at the cold feeling on your skin but you soon get used to the feeling as Sal rubbed it in more.

Soon enough he was done and you were tired mentally and physically. You look at your wonderful boyfriend beside you scrolling on his phone. “ You think we can cuddle? “ You ask looking at him with i tired and pained face. “ He turned off his phone and looked at you with beautiful and caring eyes. “ Sure, love! Let me just take off my mask. “ He told you unclipping the clips under his hair. You didn't even really notice he still had it on but was happy he's still comfortable taking it off around you. After setting his mask down on the nightstand he layed his back on the backboard and moved his arms out waiting for you to come in his arms. You crawled over to Sal and went into his comforting arms. You both stayed there in the quiet only sounds of small movement and breathing in air. Soon enough your eyes started getting droopy and you started letting out cute yawns. You hear Sal chuckle and you say a quick shut up before your eyes closed for good and you fell fast asleep going into an amazing and magical dream.

Now you both were together and that wouldn't change ever even if either of you struggles with things or life throws things at you you'll always be there for each other, from now and forever.

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Pictures

Sal Fisher- https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/496873771387590071/

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Sorry if this was terrible! I honestly loved writing this but was having some trouble getting my ideas down on the computer so it might seem quite bad, but hopefully, this helps even a little and have a great day/afternoon/night and remember to stay hydrated!

[johnsamericano]

hi sunshine!! if you're taking requests right now, could i please request a collage roommates to lovers smut au with mark? 🥺 tysm!!!

Hope you like it bubs 🥰

“Wanna play uno?” You asked your roomate, coming out of your room with the box of cards between your hands. “Oh. Sorry, I didn’t know you had people coming over.”

“Y/n, nice to see you!” Chenle greeted you with a big smile. “Come join us, we’re listening to Renjun’s juicy gossip.” There were two bottles of wine in the middle of the coffee table and a couple of glasses scattered around the floor.

“Hi.” You greeted Mark while sitting between him and a flustered Jisung. “Hi Jisungie.”

He just nodded, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

“So you know Johnny from philosophy? Well it turns out he’s dating Ten, from ballet! Everyone in my class wants to be him.” He chuckled.

“I mean, John Hyung is pretty handsome. If he asked me on a date I’d definitely give it a thought.” Jaemin commented casually. “Don’t you agree, y/n?”

The whole room smiled cheekily for some reason you didn’t know.

“Jaemin, don’t tease her.” Mark scolded. “Don’t listen to him, he’s just trying to annoy you.”

“No worries, Mark. It’s fine.” You placed your hand on his shoulder. “And yes, Johnny is capable of making even the straightest man doubt about his sexuality.”

You could feel Mark lowering his head.

“So you’re more into sexy guys?” Donghyuck lifted his eyebrows.

“I guess so.” You shrugged.

“Oh, bad news for someone.” Haechan laughed at your confused expression.

“What do you mean?” Everyone remained silent as you grew even more curious with every passing second.

“Let’s play uno.” Mark suddenly interrupted, taking the card deck from your hands.

The game started off normal, just a usual round of uno where Jeno won. But then the boys decided to spice it up. The winner would assign the player with the most cards a punishment.

“That’s not fair, I always lose!” Mark complained, holding a big stack of cards from the previous round.

“Well then, do your best to not lose.”

But everyone knew that was impossible, Mark had some sort of curse where he’d get all the bad cards.

“Uno!” Chenle screamed while placing his card on top of the other ones. He winked at Mark.

“Why are you shaking?” You asked the boy beside you, holding his arm softly.

“I-It’s nothing, I’m just afraid Chenle will make me drink water from the toilet or something like that.”

“Oh, believe me. That’s not gonna be the punishment.”

Chenle won that round. He cracked his knuckles with a devilish smile in his face.

“Meet me at your room, Mark.”

“Is he gonna beat him up or something?” You asked Jisung as soon as you heard the door closing.

“I don’t think so, noona.” He replied, still refusing to look at your face.

You took one of the wine glasses on the floor and poured some of the red liquid inside it. You took a sip of it, enjoying the sour flavor.

“Wow, this is really good. Where did you buy it?”

“Walmart.” Jaemin asked while pouring a glass for himself.

“The next time we go grocery shopping, I’ll buy one of these.”

The sound of the door opening again announced the arrival of Mark and Chenle, your roomate holding something behind his back while Chenle pushed him slightly.

“Come on, dude. We’ll leave you alone.” He signaled the boys to stand up.

“What’s going on?” You furrowed your eyebrows, standing up as well, the glass of wine still between your hands. The front door closed after all the boys had exited your shared apartment.

“I- I...” He kept stuttering, occasionally taking a look at your face.

“You’re acting suspicious.”

He finally took in a deep breath and extended a heart shaped box in your direction, bending his torso just like the anime girls did when confessing to someone.

“Huh?” You stared at him, trying to figure out the situation before replacing the glass of wine with the box. There was a small note folded on top of the lid.

Mark ran away and locked himself inside his room before you even had the chance to read the note. You let him be, already overwhelmed by the situation. Your heart picked up the face as you unfolded the piece of paper.

~Be my valentine? :)

A smile creeped up your lips as you read his words over and over again. You opened the lid to find a bunch of chocolates. Some of them were melted from being in Mark’s room and not in the fridge.

You placed the lid back on and left the box on the coffee table. You didn’t bother to knock on his door.

“Mark?” There was a bulge on his bed. “Are you still alive?” You walked closer to the mattress, sliding yourself inside the covers with him like you usually did when you had a nightmare.

“Don’t mock me, please.”

“Turn around.” You poked his back repeatedly until he finally faced you, his face as red as a tomato. “Care to explain yourself?”

“I wanted to give them to you on Valentine’s Day, but then you went out with some guy and I figured out it wasn’t such a great idea. But fucking Chenle forced me to give them to you.” The palms of his hands covered his face. “I’m so sorry.”

“You should be.” He felt like crying. “How dare you give me melted chocolates as a Valentine’s Day gift?”

“Huh?” He retrieved his hands, confused at your smiley face.

“And the worst part is that you’re like a week late. You’re gonna have to make it up for me, Mr. Lee.” Your face inched closer to his.

“Does this mean-”

“Just kiss me, Mark.” He hesitated before connecting his lips with your own.

He felt in heaven with your soft lips moving against his, your playful tongue intruding his mouth and fighting for dominance. His hand cupped your butt by accident, he tried moving it but you held it against your soft flesh. His hips started rutting against yours, stealing a gasp or two from you.

“Are you okay with this?”

“Yes.” You mumbled into his neck. “Stop teasing and fuck me already.” Mark was taken aback by your boldness, but he’d be lying if he didn’t say he liked it.

“As you wish.” He got rid of your clothing with urge, separating his body from yours slightly to admire your naked form, the source of all his fantasies. “How can you be so perfect?” He asked while tracing the valley of your breasts, slowly going down to touch your labia.

His dick was impossibly hard and ached for relief. You pulled Mark closer, his arms supporting his weight as you pushed his length inside your hole.

“Fuck.” He cursed at your tightness, your walls strangling his pulsating member. “Can I move?”

You nodded. With his knees caging your legs and his hands on your sides, he started moving his hips against yours. The stretch was amazing, he wasn’t the biggest, but it felt like he was made just for you, reaching for all the right spots.

“I’m not gonna last for much longer.” He admitted shyly.

“Don’t worry, baby. Me too.” He eyes your swollen bud, screaming for attention. His thumb started drawing circles on top of the sensitive skin, pulling in for anothe kiss.

Your legs started trembling as your high took over your senses, accidentally biting his lip and causing him to smile. He shot his seed deep inside you, collapsing on top of your body as soon as you were done.

“Was this enough to make up for the melted chocolates?” He kissed your collarbone tenderly, smiling against the hot skin.

“No, you still owe me a box of chocolates.”

“I’ll buy you the whole store if that’s what you want.” He pulled out, turning to lay on his side with you between his arms. “But only if you agree to go on a date with me.”

“What kind of chocolates are we talking about?” He gasped, pretending to be offended. “I’m just kidding.”

“I like you y/n.” He confesses sincerely, looking at you with big doe eyes. “Do you like me too?”

“I like you too, Mark Lee.”

[jannwrites]

ask meme: GROUPCHAT EDITION.

current groupchat name: diplomats of the bone zone. (the fruit chat)

[TEXT]: WORM OFF THE STRING, FIGHTING GOD

[TEXT]: i experienced years of trauma and all i got was this coupon for arson

[TEXT]: on all levels, Especially Physical, meatloaf is disgusting

[TEXT]: gender: collector’s edition

[TEXT]: me, in disgust: mormons...

[TEXT]: [timmy turner dad vc] mormons.......

[TEXT]: sir that’s my emotional support cryptid twink

[TEXT]: ur a certified pirate now.... all u need now is scurvy

[TEXT]: afab (assigned frog at birth)

[TEXT]: many frog vibes in the bone zone...

[TEXT]: all of my pets are commies

[TEXT]: who will win: straight father or gay frog

[TEXT]: [name]core is just. frogs and being too gay to work.

[TEXT]: i think david byrne in the once in a life time video kinda looks like [name]

[TEXT]: today’s gender is a live catfish, but tomorrow’s gender is gonna be an alcoholic baja blast

[TEXT]: my love language is ROCKS

[TEXT]: if a pisces tries to manifest in my home i’ll hit them

[TEXT]: cancel student loan debt and you get to sit at the kid’s table at thanksgiving

[TEXT]: the girl scouts are homophobic

[TEXT]: local caucasian woman goes insane in the target 2 minutes from her house, as opposed to going insane in the target 10 minutes from her house

[TEXT]: guess i’m gonna go to utah and commit a felony

[TEXT]: the bone zone is becoming the sleep zone

[TEXT]: if having an orgasm on the city bus is out of the question, the family car will do

[TEXT]: kermit the frog arrested for physical assault

[TEXT]: two fools try to navigate twitter in order to simp (2021, colorized)

[TEXT]: and the long awaited sequel, the fools simp

[TEXT]: every day the bone zone commits hate crimes

[TEXT]: mothma’am back at it again with the ass that won’t quit

[TEXT]: if i see a cat committing arson i will simply mind my business!

[TEXT]: THE VIEWS WERE IMMACULATE and so is my ass

[TEXT]: the bone zone is slowly becoming the simp society

[TEXT]: the physical vessel is a sham

[TEXT]: its MY rona and I get to choose to hoot and also holler!

[TEXT]: it’s MY rona and i get to pick the playlist!!

[TEXT]: FROGS BELONG TO THE GAYS

[TEXT]: can’t roast him for being pegged!!

[TEXT]: gender may be fake but our looks sure aren’t!!!

[TEXT]: me like gender is dumb but i’ve got an ass that won’t quit

[TEXT]: getting phobed in the back room of your local walmart [24hr] (gone WRONG???)

[TEXT]: YES IM A NERD. BUT IM ALSO AN IDIOT.

[TEXT]: her ass wont quit but neither will these HANDS

[TEXT]: meet me outside the cult pyramid!!!! full brawl beat down!!!!

[TEXT]: as long as he still has mental illnesses then it’s fine

[TEXT]: being a weeb is a mental disorder

[themurphyzone]

PatB Oneshot: Crystal Clear

AN: Part of an art trade with @plutonis in honor of her upcoming wedding. She tasked me with writing an introspective piece for a Brinky wedding. The art piece I requested is for the next chapter of Nova, so you’ll see the finished product there. 

Prompt given by Pluto: I was wondering if you could do a little fic in which Brain is walking down the aisle on his wedding day, and we hear the thoughts going on in his head. What is he thinking? How is he feeling?

AO3 Link

If Brain had his way, he would’ve taped himself to the table leg with extra strong industrial strength duct tape and remained there for the rest of his life.

But Romy wouldn’t let him attach himself to said table leg, and Wakko already ate the duct tape to prevent him from getting it. All other binding materials, including the shoe strings and gluesticks, had been placed on a shelf mockingly out of his reach.

And since he was already in his wedding dress, he couldn’t even climb the shelf to retrieve the necessary materials.

“Dad, you’re killing the glarb,” Romy complained as he pried Brain from the table leg.

“Unhand me at once or so help me, Roman Numeral One!” Brain shouted, trying to break free from Romy’s grip, but it seemed their son had inherited Pinky’s unusual strength.

Wakko wasn’t any help either. He just watched the spectacle from his perch on the dresser, chomping on a platter of garlic prawns swiped from the catering company. Thankfully, Brain had the foresight to order plenty of garlic prawns for their celebratory dinner.

As soon as Romy’s grip loosened, Brain broke free and reattached himself to the table leg.

Funny, how he wanted this for so long. Yearned for it. And when the time came, even after all the progress he’d made, he was still afraid for reasons he didn’t understand.

It was illogical, he knew. He trusted Pinky more than anyone else, even himself.

But even that wasn’t enough to get him moving again.

“Guess someone’s gotta tell Ma you’re not coming,” Romy sighed.

Brain’s fingers dug into the wooden grooves.

“He’s definitely gonna cry. Probably gonna curl up on the couch and watch daytime soap operas with buckets of triple fudge ice cream or something,” Romy continued.

Sweet, innocent Pinky being heartbroken at his own wedding. Running off and doing who-knows-what, because he could be very unpredictable when he was truly distraught. His simple mind eroding away because of the unhealthy combination of trashy soap operas and ice cream diet.

Brain’s heart clenched uncomfortably at that mental image. With great reluctance, Brain let go of the table leg and marched over to the mirror to smooth out the wrinkles in his wedding dress to keep his hands occupied as he quelled that troublesome idea.  

“You’re gonna tell him that Brain’s in here, right?” Wakko asked.

“Sure,” Romy replied.

Wait...everyone knew of his intentions to see this wedding through to the end. And he'd never let the hard work and efforts of their wedding plans go to waste.

It was just a ploy.

Brain took a deep breath. To lose his temper before the ceremony would surely spell catastrophe. He wanted to keep this an emotionally satisfying occasion, for Pinky’s sake.

“Romy, I won’t deny that your tactic was effective. But you will refrain from using my fondness for Pinky against me in the future,” Brain said.

Perhaps Roman Numeral One took after him more than he thought. It was impressive and aggravating at the same time.

"Sorry, Dad." Romy's head dropped as he handed the bouquet to Brain.

Like with Pinky, Brain just didn't have it in him to remain angry once an apology was issued. He transferred the bouquet to one hand and lifted Romy's chin from its downcast position.

"Look alive, Romy. This is a celebration," Brain ordered as he turned back to the mirror. "And Wakko, you're not touching our wedding rings with prawn-stained hands."

Wakko pulled out a kitchen sink from his hammerspace and started washing his hands without removing his gloves. With the soft hum of Happy Birthday in the background, Brain turned back to the mirror and examined himself one more time. They didn’t have long before the ceremony began.

His dress towed the line between simple and extravagant. Ruffles in the right places, but not so many that it would hinder movement. A small hole had been cut to fit his tail, carefully sized so that it was easy to thread the stiff appendage through. His sleeves cut off at the elbow, white fabric giving way to a delicate flower pattern, lending an elegant and dignified quality to the outfit.

It hadn’t been easy obtaining this dress. He’d lost track of how many toy aisles Pinky had dragged him down, and he didn’t want his outfit to come from the toy section of Walmart. Pinky had eventually called Dot for help, and with her connections, she arranged for a fashion designer who specialized in making clothes for dolls to help them out.

And while they eventually put the issue of clothes behind them, they had a fair number of arguments when Brain found a reason to reject all the dresses Pinky suggested. Especially with that gaudy puffed sleeve dress Pinky loved but Brain hated.

“I realize we must’ve been insufferable for the past few months,” Brain said. Planning for a wedding wasn’t anything like planning for world domination, as he learned the hard way. But it was Pinky’s wedding as much as it was his, and after one vehement disagreement, Brain had realized he was pushing out Pinky’s contributions to impose his own.

It wasn’t easy, but he did try to turn over some aspects to Pinky, just to see how he did with them. And Brain didn’t regret that choice, because the results were absolutely wonderful.

“Yeah, you and Ma were ruining my vibes,” Romy gave a lazy smile as Brain nudged him in retaliation.

Romy had said something similar when he’d first run away from home, but mischief had long replaced the anger. Though Brain still didn’t think ventriloquism was a lucrative career, he’d made his peace with Romy’s lifestyle while repairing their relationship. And Romy wasn’t the only one who derived happiness from working with dummies.

“Regardless, we’re grateful that you came,” Brain said.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Romy shrugged. “Better save your sap for the ceremony though.”

“I’m not being sappy,” Brain muttered out of principle rather than true irritation.

It was 2:55 pm. Five minutes until the ceremony began. He was running out of time.

He quickly fixed his leaf crown and attached veil so that it was less crooked. In years past, he never would’ve been satisfied until a golden crown with embedded jewels rested atop his head. But now he found the leaf crown was worth so much more than gold.

Then he made sure the transparent veil covered his face. The thin fabric didn’t hinder his vision, but he felt like he was looking through a lens.

Everyone would be watching him. He wanted that thin wall of privacy between himself and the onlookers. Seeing outside, but concealing his feelings within.

He didn’t have to. He knew he didn’t. But old habits die hard, it seemed.

The clock chimed three. It was time.  

What could go wrong?

“Don’t worry!” Wakko exclaimed as he picked up the purple velvet cushion with their wedding rings. “I didn’t mistake these for tiny Ring Pops this time!”

Brain was a fool. A sentimental, lovestruck, starcrossed, and twitterpated fool.

Wakko brought up the lead as they marched through the twisting hallways of the enormous property they’d rented for their Hawaiian wedding. Surprisingly, coming up with a location for their wedding hadn’t been difficult. After a stressful day of making other arrangements, they’d chosen a scenic, relaxing travel documentary to unwind.

As soon as the documentary showed a beautiful Hawaiian beach at sunset, they both agreed on making Hawaii the destination of choice for both wedding and honeymoon. Brain gripped the flower bouquet tightly, careful not to crush the petals between his fingers. Romy’s hand was on his elbow, light enough to not be intrusive but quick to react so Brain didn’t run into a wall.

He’d assigned Pinky to the task of flower selection, and Pinky had researched the meaning of flowers extensively with an unusual amount of focus. If Pinky had his way, he would’ve gathered one specimen of every flower in the world and brought them to the wedding, though Brain eventually convinced him to narrow his list down to a single digit range.

Brain was only familiar with the rose as a symbol of love, and he recalled the meaning of only two other flowers within their wedding. The rest were completely lost on him. The first was the magnolia, which represented perseverance. As such, a white magnolia stood proudly in his bouquet, nestled among the red roses of passionate love. Pinky had chosen the magnolia for Brain, and insisted Brain choose at least one flower too.

Though Brain didn’t place much stock in what the websites claimed, he just went along with it to humor Pinky. But he’d settled on the colorful freesia, just to thank Pinky for his friendship, faith, and trust for all the years they’d known each other.

Their miniature procession stopped at a glass sliding door that separated them from the rest of the proceedings.

Brain gulped and clutched the bouquet to his chest.

Beyond those doors, the wedding guests mingled with each other on the grass. A gorgeous, azure beach formed the perfect backdrop to the ceremony. White, fluffy clouds dotted the sunny skies, and the beauty was rather foreign to him. He’d spent far too much of his life hiding away in the darkness of a sterile lab.

It seemed the entirety of their Animaniacs coworkers had shown up for the wedding. He was surprised by the turnout, but it seemed that everyone had been clamoring for him and Pinky to tie the knot for years.

And while the usual toon antics were prevalent among the guests, Brain’s attention was drawn to the very front, where Pinky was arranging flowers on Pharfignewton, who’d jumped at the offer of being Pinky’s best mare.

Back then, the sight would’ve incited a feeling he’d come to realize was jealousy. Now he was just grateful that Pinky received some physical affection from someone when Brain couldn’t give it to him.

Wakko opened the screen door, causing a stir among the guests in the back, which caused a ripple effect that spread to the front and prompted everyone to take their seats. Pinky slid off Pharfignewton’s back, bouncing on his toes and craning his neck to see Brain.

Even from this far away, Brain saw Pinky’s bright, goofy smile. It made him regret keeping the veil over his face, cloaking his happiness even from his partner.

“Testing, testing!” Yakko said into the microphone. When he’d been ordained to officiate a wedding, nobody knew for sure. He shuffled through the cards for his opening speech. “Alright, everyone. We’ve all been very impatient for this moment, so no more delays, capiche? Dot, start the music!”

A hush fell across the audience, and even the most rambunctious members of the Animaniacs crew fell silent as a soft piano arrangement of A Whole New World began to play.

Wakko proudly held the cushion with the wedding rings over his head and marched to the front. From the aisle, Mindy reached into her basket and threw pink flower petals into the air, and Buttons held onto her so she didn’t fall out of her seat.  

Romy released Brain and followed Wakko. Pinky greeted their son with an enthusiastic hug, and Bunny flashed them a thumbs-up from her seat.  

All the attention was on Brain now.

He wasn’t sure if he wanted it.

He wanted to flee inside the house. Tell everyone to go home and they’ll get refunded the costs at a later date. Take Pinky to city hall and sign a document to make their marriage official instead.

The audience whispered.

He saw the worry in Pinky’s eyes, a stunning shade of blue that popped out from the beautiful Hawaiian beach. They were too far from each other to speak normally, but Pinky laid his hand on top of the colorful freesia pinned to his white dress shirt, just over his heart.

Trust me, he was saying.

And Pinky had proven himself worthy of his trust long ago.

Slowly, Brain laid his hand on the magnolia, the centerpiece of his bouquet.

I won’t give up.

Pinky smiled that soft, knowing smile of his. Emboldened by his encouragement, Brain stepped out of the house and onto the white, silky path that had been laid out for him.

He took slow, methodical steps to steel his nerves. This was his reward, and he was allowed to have it.

No more electricity, no more fear of rejection.

The happiness of having someone by his side. The sorrow when they were separated either by force or by choice. The surprise of receiving gifts from Pinky when he’d done nothing to deserve them. The guilt that came from upsetting Pinky with morally questionable schemes.

Emotions he’d once derided as frivolous were now precious and dear to him.

All the good, all the bad, and everything in between. And this occasion marked a brand new beginning, a new chapter of their lives that would bring new happiness and surprises. Though they’d be sad, angry, or terrified sometimes, they’d always be together.

That’s what counted most.

The melody of A Whole New World floated gently through the air. An airy tune filled with wonder at a world previously unknown to them.

He and Pinky dueted this song so many times that the lyrics and background instrumentals were permanently etched into his mind.

Only now did he understand what the song was truly about. Leaving behind their defined roles, into a freedom-filled sky. Just the two of them, exploring a huge world together. The burdens of the past and worries of the future left on the ground, and all that mattered was the present.

Being themselves, and experiencing things they’ve never experienced before.

It was terrifying and exhilarating all at once.

He could hardly wait.

Pinky waited for him, taking Brain’s hand in his own. He was absolutely breathtaking up close.

“Narf,” Pinky whispered, and Brain would never tire of that endearingly stupid word. “You did it, Brain.”

“All thanks to you, Pinky,” Brain replied, and Pinky’s tail wagged at the praise.  

Together, they walked to that beautiful wedding arch with intertwining pink and blue flowers, stopping in front of Yakko’s podium. Brain gave his bouquet to Romy so he could properly hold Pinky’s hands. Romy gave them a lazy grin, and Pharfignewton lowered her head so Romy could have a good perch. Wakko proudly balanced the cushion on his head, and Dot stood beside her brother, giving him a friendly shove without knocking the wedding rings off.

And Brain realized he was still seeing the world through veiled eyes. Though his vision was unimpeded, he’d barely noticed there was a filter among all his doubts and fears.

He’d kept the veil for a transparent amount of privacy when he walked down the aisle, but now that he was with Pinky…

Well, it just wasn’t necessary anymore.

He brought Pinky’s hands to the veil. Their eyes met, and a silent understanding passed between them.

Then Pinky threw back the veil, and the filter he’d been looking through was completely gone. And Brain saw the...no, he saw his world through fresh eyes.

A bright, happy, silly mouse stood before him, a colorful burst of freesia on his chest, and beautiful sky-blue eyes filled with endless love, promising hope and warmth and companionship forever more.

“You’re so pretty, Brain,” Pinky giggled.

It was the most wonderful sound for his compass, his heart, and his world.  

No more tolerating. He fully accepted the undeniable fact of how much he loved Pinky, and Pinky loving him back from this point forward.

Never before had he felt so much happiness, and he was ready for everyone to see it.

Unable to contain himself, Brain leapt into Pinky’s arms and kissed him. Though he heard their audience reacting with shock, it was all just background noise to him. And he’d never been a patient mouse.

Pinky was surprised at first, but his strong arms wrapped around Brain to support him, and he kissed back wonderfully.

Fireworks exploded in Brain’s mind, or maybe the Warners set some off, he didn’t know. But he had to come up for air, and he released the kiss, though it seemed Pinky could keep going for quite some time.

“Technically, you’re supposed to wait until I say ‘you may now kiss the Brain’, but who am I to stop true love?” Yakko grinned.

“Sorry,” the mice chorused, though neither of them regretted the little break in protocol.

The audience burst into cheers, and Yakko led them in a standing ovation for a good five minutes before they all settled down enough for him to start his opening speech.

“Love you, Brain,” Pinky whispered as he put Brain down and took his hands again.

“Love you too, Pinky,” Brain replied, and he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face.

Everything was laid out before them, clear as crystal and bright as day.

End AN: This is cheesy but I don’t care I love it and they’re married now. 

The Hawaiian setting is not a reference to the PatB fic Trouble in Paradise, it’s just that the last wedding I went to was in Hawaii and it was so romantic.

3rd time I’ve referenced A Whole New World in these fics. This song is just too perfect for them. 

[greekgrad07]

i blame @deepestempathllamalawyer and @zitzboy for this but this post got me thinking about malconnor and now i can’t stop i’m sorry

malconnor headcanons

they had always been friendly with each other bc of connor and annabeth but nothing worth calling an actual friendship

they never really talked unless annabeth was around until one day after the battle of manhattan

so connor had a bunch of summer assignments he has put off for the last minute bc a.) there was a fucking war going on and b.) procrastination is a curse

he went to the athena cabin hoping to find annabeth for some help but when he got there the only athena kid in sight was malcolm (annabeth was out with her new boyfriend percy alhdkjdk)

so it would be awkward at first but basically it would go something like this

“hey, annabeth isn’t here.” “oh sorry, i was just gonna ask her about some homework, i’ll come back later i guess haha.” and like right as he turns around connor hears malcolm say, “i mean, i could help you, if you want. annabeth isn’t the only smart kid in this cabin, you know?”

and connor is FLUSTERED bc 1.) him and malcolm have barely said three words to each other alone before and now he’s offering to spend gods know how long trying to explain algebra to him, 2.) he’s pretty sure he’s just offended him and if there is one thing connor knows, it’s that you should never, ever, make a child of athena think you doubt their intelligence, and 3.) well, actually, he ain’t sure what else is making him nervous

so after that it gets to the point where connor starts to seek malcolm out for help on all of his assignments, and once they are done with that, connor starts to look for new ways to spend time with him

this boy has no idea how to make friends without pranking them but for some reason connor can’t talk himself into doing anything that may embarrass or hurt malcolm (he tells himself that it’s probably bc he feels indebted to him but...)

not to mention the last child of athena he became friends with was basically desperate for attention at the time, it was easier back then. but malcolm is new territory, and just like annabeth, most of her siblings are intimidating.

obviously he knows that malcolm is willing to help him so connor decides that the best way to insinuate friendship is by making a mountain out of anthill problems just to ask for the son of athena’s help

and this works. malcolm was willing to help connor with almost all of his minor inconveniences.

one time, connor “dropped” his lucky ring during a volleyball match. thankfully, malcolm just so happened to be there

“mal! hey sorry, but my ring fell off during the tournament. i think it’s in the sand somewhere, do you care to help me find it before your cabin starts the next game?”

it was a while before malcolm found the ring. the ring that just appeared out of nowhere at his feet after about thirty minutes of searching, cracking jokes, and avoiding the gaze of the demeter cabin glaring at the two boys to hurry up.

(needless to say, the ring was in connors pocket the whole time)

another time was when connor snuck out of camp with travis to go to the 7/11 down the street and couldn’t decide which snacks to get for the bonfire that night

this resulted in the first of many iris messages to malcolm

“flaming hot cheetos or takis?” “why not both?” “you’re after my own heart, pace.”

connor did not see the other boy blushing at his words (and he did not spend the rest of the night overthinking about that sentence thank you very much)

travis did end up teasing his little brother about it though

“what’s with you and children of athena?” “dude what are you talking about?”

but the best incident was when one of connors problems involved annabeth- or rather, finding annabeth. and he didn’t even have to make that one up

he and annabeth were supposed to train that day, but she was late. normally he would be worried, but a part of him was glad that he had an excuse to go talk to malcolm.

turns out, he didn’t have to.

right as he walked up to the cabin, the boy in question opened the door.

the two bumped into each other and connor wasn’t sure why his face started heating up or why malcolm was looking anywhere but his face.

the blonde boy stuttered out how he was just on his way to the arena to meet him.

“wait what? i just came here to ask you about annabeth.” malcolm’s cheeks turn a light shade of pink and connor doesn’t know why he finds that so endearing, “percy planned a surprise picnic for the two of them, so i offered to spar with you in her place so she wouldn’t feel bad.”

when i say this boy was blushing-

so they spar together and then decide, hey why not hang out for the rest of the day?

and oh boy when the day came that malcolm started coming to connor for help

let’s just say that he was beaming

not to mention it was something that connor was more than happy to help with

apparently some kids of hephaestus were being dicks to one of the younger athena kids and malcolm was pissed, so he asked connor for some pranking tips

they ended up sneaking into the cabin, sabotaging the campers newest projects, and covering all of their tools with honey and feathers

after spending all night hearing malcolm’s laugh and seeing his pale blonde hair in the moonlight as he dropped him off at the athena cabin, connor was sure that friendship wasn’t all he wanted with the boy now

one day, while connor was trying to think of a new excuse to talk to malcolm, the boy walked up to him and asked if he wanted to pick strawberries with him

“yes! i mean- yeah, yeah sound fun”

the two spent the day at the strawberry field picking -eating- strawberries while they talked and laughed with each other

at some point during the evening, connor started retelling a story about him and annabeth from their youth at camp. it involved a prank against clarrise and some glue, and it had both boys cackling by the end of it

then malcolm said “i’m sorry that you got stuck with a walmart annabeth that day, but i’m kind of glad that my sister wasn’t in the cabin when you were looking for help with your school work. i’m not great with getting to know people but i liked how easy it was with you.”

connor would have taken the compliment in stride if it weren’t for malcolms first comment “what do you mean walmart annabeth?”

the boys stopped and looked back at connor “just that, i know you and annabeth are really close, and she’s been busy recently. i understand that you would want to hangout with someone who reminds you of her. i’m okay with it, really. i like spending time with you.”

connor felt his heart simultaneously swell and break at the same time. not once had connor thought of malcolm as an annabeth replacement, nor would he ever. the two children of athena were similar yes, but a lot of siblings are, it doesn’t mean they are the same, and connor definitely never associated them as being such. so he told him that

“i like spending time with you, too. you as in malcolm pace, not an annabeth replacement. i’ve never seen you like that and i never would. plus, you’re not walmart anything, you’re full channel baby. children of hermes only steal the best of the best.”

“what exactly would you be stealing?”

connor just smiled and grabbed the boys hand.

that night, connor stoll made a list including all the things he liked about malcolm pace. he made sure to add the things he liked that he knew differentiated the boy from annabeth as well

some things on the list include how his hair was a more pale blonde compared to his other siblings. connor liked how it certain lights it looked white.

the fact that he was the same height as connor, which made it easier to look him in the eyes

his eyes which were a dark grey and could be considered scary if it weren’t for the gleam they always wore

the way that he always blushed when romantics were involved, no matter how innocent

or how loud he laughed at a joke that he found funny, despite how he tried to muffle it into the collar of his shirt

connor likes how willing malcolm is to help people and how brilliant he is

he likes that malcolm tries to follow the rules but still knows how to have fun and let loose

connor stoll likes malcolm pace

but it’s even better when annabeth finds out

“you and my brother?!”

“you liked luke for who knows how long, i don’t wanna hear it chase!”

[heartbreakgrill]

Omg can I have a part 2 to the Walmart thing about how their relationship develops from there? Pls I need it :(

a/n: there will be a part 3 because I wanna write about you performing on stage and also paris!! Send more requests for anything else, too! 💘

The weeks on tour seemed to pass much more quickly now that you were falling in love. With each day, a new butterfly would land on your stomach, flapping its painted wings with a giddy smile arising to your lips.

Having been friends with Calum prior to being “his girl,” you knew that he was affectionate in his relationships. You’d always admired how kind he was to any girl he ever dated: He’d hold open the door for them, be it to his car or the restaurant, showed them with gifts no matter the occassion, respectfully ask to kiss them no matter how long they’d been together, hold their waist or hand in public and to his chest in private.

However, none of his relationships had ever lasted past three months, and no one knew why. You knew it wasn’t him, no, how could the kindest boy with the softest smile and sweetest words be the cause for girls to cheat, yell, scream, and curse his name? He was never at fault.

It was always them.

Because what you also always noticed in his relationships was that they were one-sided. The girls wanted fame, eyelashes and lip injections to add to the collection. There was nothing wrong with prosthetics or makeup, but they used him to the point that he had stopped being so affectionate over the years.

They’d shrug off his hand in public, get argumentative when he’d ask for, “the third time today!” to kiss them, get chided for opening the door because she, “was perfectly capable of doing it myself, thank you very much.”

You had made it your mission to hold Calum’s heart in your hands as if you were holding the world by the strings of your fingers. Calum was an airplane, and you were the goddess in the sky, dangling him across oceans sheets and towers of gifts.

It was a month into your endeavors when you really got good at being affectionate with him. No one had failed to notice your relationship boom, but you weren’t trying to hide it. So, there was a tranquil balance for everyone.

It was the morning of their last day of European press before everyone got a week off in Paris. Then, you’d be flying back to the US to finish the tour, only to end up in Los Angeles. That would three months from now.

You were curled into Calum’s blankets, having moved from your bunk to his because it was unfairly larger. Your heating blanket was plugged into his wall, his roll of fabric abandoned in his drawer beneath you. You had been discussing with him for weeks that he should figure out how to make it into a proper blanket, but he said he didn’t feel like it because he was, “only good for playing the bass.”

Your boy, and his brothers, were inside an office building with press all day. The show would be shortly after. Crystal was outside with Moose, letting him run off much needed steam. Sierra was in the living room, watching a movie. You had plans for dinner, but that was still an hour and a half away.

You drug yourself out of bed, only slightly bored because you finished the books you had bought again. You pulled fresh clothes out of your suitcase, showered, changed, and plopped down beside Sierra on the couch.

“You smell really good,” she commented, turning down the television so you could hear one another.

“It’s a mixture of my perfume and Calum’s cologne because this is his hoodie,” you giggled lightly while your fingers pulled at the strings on his jacket.

Sierra tilted her head with a sweet smile, “You guys are so cute. I’m so glad you finally got together.”

You wriggled your shoulders happily, “Yeah...”

You sat back with her, chatting about Luke’s want to get his nails done and how attractive you thought Calum was when his nails were black all those years ago.

After a while, the movie ended and you agreed to get up to go to lunch. You grabbed your purse from Calum’s drawer when you noticed his roll of fabric. You had a good idea spring into a head and whipped around, the lightbulb above your head vanishing as you jogged out into the living room of the bus.

After telling your idea to Sierra, the two of you exited the bus and met the driver assigned for the boy’s in the near-end of the parking lot. You ate lunch at a local café before locating a fabric store down the street. You walked there, parusing the store fronts, but resisting the urge to buy too much.

You entered the fabric store and immediately approached the counter. Sierra started by the back corner, browsing through buttons and string. You were somewhere in Nothern Italy, and luckily, had went over a few phrases in the language in case you needed to use them. Because it was a small store, pretty much untouched by foreigners, you expected the cashier to not know English.

“Ciao! parlo inglese e ho bisogno di aiuto per creare una coperta da un rotolo di tessuto,” your eyes were flicked back in your head as if the words were written there, but you were able to recite them from memory.

“A blanket, tu dici?” The elder leader responded, grinning through her smile lines.

“Sì!”

After a few minutes of communicating through broke English and Italian, she was able to guide you to the proper sewing needle, string, and pattern for the blanket. She taught you an easy method to make the blanket.

After thanking her with a hug and a plenty of extra money tips, you and Sierra loaded up in the car and travelled back to the tour bus. For the rest of the day, you tucked yourself into the back room of the bus, random movies and show queued up on Netflix, a few snacks indulged in your system. You even missed the boys’ press day to finish the blanket, having Sierra tell them that you just felt a little sick.

Realistically, you were completing his blanket. Some of the seams were off, there were countless bloody pricks in your fingers, and you were sweating with frustration. But it was done by the time you heard the door of the tour bus open. You quickly shot up, shoved it in your own drawer, and closed yourself in the bathroom. With shaky hands from excitement and nerves, you bandaged two fingers on your left hand and three on your right. You washed the uncovered skin and dried your hands.

You heard a few voices move past the door, even heard Calum poking around in his and your bunk for, well, you. “Where is she?” Calum mumbled to Sierra, worry evident in his exhausted voice.

You popped out of the door, which led straight into the living room, and shuffled down the hallway. Sierra pointed behind his back with a soft smile before moving to the back room where everyone else probably was.

Calum spun on his heel, a grin growing on his face. “Hi, baby.”

You opened your arms for him, and he fell into your embrace, head shoveled into your neck and hands around your waist. You brushed the curls on his head, unbothered by the sweat laced through his hair. He hummed into your embrace, alight with adoration.

“Pardon me,” Ashton slyly passed by the two of you, breaking up your hug.

You pushed Ash away playfully, pulling a chuckle from his and Calum’s chests. “How was press?” You asked him, grabbing the tips of his fingers and leading him to the living room.

You sat beside him, legs tucked under you, knees practically in his lap. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, staring down at you with tired but smiley eyes. “Pretty decent. I felt all sad without you there, though.”

“Well, I guess Italy’s just not interested in me,” You pouted slightly.

“It’s okay, because I am,” he played with your fingers before he noticed the bandaids. “What happened? You okay?”

You noticed his eyes turn worried, pupils dilating wider. You shrugged, “Oh, fine. I’m fine. I was doing come arts and crafts. Oh! Actually. I made you something.”

His eyebrows shot up in surprise, “Wait, really? What?”

You got up from the couch to retrieve the blanket. It was wrapped up in the Walmart bag, so you dropped it in his lap and sat back down. Calum glanced around you suspiciously, “I know you’re talented at, like, a bunch of stuff. But, if you have that many bandages, I’m slightly concerned by what’s in here.”

You smacked his shoulder, “Just open it.”

He did so, but he was not at all disappointed. The widest grin took over his face when he pulled out the blanket. He set it beside him and wrapped you up in a huge so that you were nearly straddling his lap. He pressed a firm kiss to your cheek, gushing over and over how amazing it was.

“Oh, no big deal,” you laughed, leaning back to kiss him properly. “Just thought you could actually make use of it.”

“It’s awesome. Thank you so much,” he unraveled the blanket and draped it over both of you. “It’s so warm, too.”

“You’re also sweating, so that could just be it,” you laughed.

Calum scoffed and pushed you down into the couch. “Shut up!” He exclaimed, tickling your sides.

“Never,” you pushed back with your own fingers attacking his neck.

When you calmed down from your war, you decided to go to bed, with an early flight to Paris in the morning. It was just the beginning, but Calum already knew you were better than anything he could’ve ever imagined. He couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with you, let alone the next week in the most romantic city on Earth.

TAGLIST: @dinosaursandsocks @everydayimfangirling @truly-charmed @wallows-spring

[lilypixels]

...............all of them.....?

It took me an hr to do this....🥲💀

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Teacupsss

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Uhhh cotton candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Probably quiet and smart lol I did my school work and was friendly with everyone so I was a favorite and heard all the nice things 🙈

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I kinda like bottles more but like the glass ones with the caps that could slice your fingers-

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I’m for all but sports lol

7. earbuds or headphones?

Earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

Shows cause I’m the type to watch an hr long episode vs hr long movie idk why but I’m rarely in mood for them

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Drop the beat (ie songs that are upbeat and I like most)

13. lanyard or key ring?

Hmm...I guess lanyard?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Skittles or twizzlers

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

I had lots I had to read in school but only ever finished a handful lol my favorite I think was maybe Macbeth? I would say Odyssey but I don’t think we read the full thing cause I remember being disappointed about something like that...

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Sitting with my legs bent up in seat with me in some way

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

Converse and some nice but cheap sneakers from Walmart

18. ideal weather?

Not too hot, not too cold, mild like before/after a rain (most the time), idc if it’s raining or sunny but as long as temp is comfortable I’m fine

19. sleeping position?

On my side most often

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Phone and notebook

21. obsession from childhood?

Oh gosh uhhh I guess my like of dolls maybe? Or obsession with anything ✨unexplained✨ like ghosts, aliens, cryptids, etc

22. role model?

Kim Namjoon lol just kidding (sorta)

23. strange habits?

Ok I know I have some and my friends would be more than happy to point them all out but hm let me think...idk if these count as habits but I’ll never place a mirror facing a bed (this is more superstitious I guess than habit,,,) I can’t stand my food touching, if I have a tray like in cafeteria I have a certain spot for everything and uh my mind just went blank-

24. favorite crystal?

Moonstone, lapis lazuli, and I feel obligated to say garnet cause it’s my birthstone

25. first song you remember hearing?

Circle of Life maybe who knows xD

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Walk or clean,,I’m more active and about with warm/nice weather

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

...stay inside where it’s warm

28. five songs to describe you?

Not this again😭 uhhh idk you tell me ajdbd

29. best way to bond with you?

Indulge me when I go off about things I like or learn 😔✊ I know I’ll talk your ear off and I’m sorry but know I don’t often talk about these things with people so once I start it’s hard to stop,,and it makes me really happy when people do listen to me about these things and send me related items every so often or even look into it themselves to learn more 🥺

30. places that you find sacred?

For some reason this feels like a trick question...um cemeteries and anything with ages of history I guess

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Oof do I really have a true outfit?? I have shoes for this which are just black platform sneakers I call stomping shoes

32. top five favorite vines?

I never,,,watched these,,,

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“Yes”...?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

State Farm and McDonald’s, always

35. average time you fall asleep?

10-11...usually...

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Uhhh that one with the ginger dude (I think it was someone’s yearbook photo??) I don’t remember much else about the meme but it was on ifunny, or whatever the app was, a lot

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase

38. lemonade or tea?

Easy, tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

...neither

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Dude these questions really testing my brain power here- for senior prank someone put cereal in some bathroom sinks I think

41. last person you texted?

My mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I’m gonna say jacket since I wear those often

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie or cardigan

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Usually whatever shirt I’m wearing that day and some pj/lounge pants 🤷

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mozzarella

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I-what kind of question is this? How does one even answer this?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

What comes around goes around lol (yes I’m a heavy believer of karma)

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Lol who knows, probably something dumb me and my siblings were doing or something we watched cause there’s been plenty times of that xD

51. current stresses?

Homework vs free time e-e

52. favorite font?

I like the gothic looking ones but it’s usually not practical to use so idk

53. what is the current state of your hands?

My hands...? They’re fine ??

54. what did you learn from your first job?

How to care for babies and little kids, how to put on a diaper lol

56. favorite tradition?

I can’t remember a particular one off hand but I’m trying to start few new ones like decorating cookies for Halloween uwu

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Uhhhhh like personally or...? Cause we’ve overcome homelessness before, um finishing assignments idk😭 oh maybe bullying?? That’s all I can think of since I still struggle with a lot,,

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Alright let’s do thisss: creativity (mostly in writing sense), I can bake/cook, I have amazing organization skills and many work places have used that lol (bonus is I don’t mind, I actually really enjoy it, very peaceful), surprisingly good balance all things considered, I’m a quick learner

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“I’m too tired for this.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Good question good question🤔 I don’t think I’d last in any of them/have a terrible side character role so 💀

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“Life’s too short to hold grudges.”

62. seven characters you relate to?

Dude this is gonna get embarrassing I can feel it🤠

Itaru, Iori, Sogo, Belle, Simeon (obey me), Nozaki (he’s clueless about romance irl and doesn’t know when someone has a crush on him yet can write romance well enough and yeah it’s me lol), and uhh Swindler/Ordinary Person in Akudama Drive (still can’t believe no one really has names in that anime but the way she gets wrapped in everything felt like something that’d happen to me lol)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Like nightclub...? I’m skipping this ajdbd

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Probably the Barbie site, me and my sister played all the dress up games almost daily istg

65. any permanent scars?

Appendectomy scars and then looks like I have one on a toe but it’s possible it still might heal...

66. favorite flower(s)?

Nightshade, foxglove, baby’s breath, bellflowers, roses

67. good luck charms?

I don’t think I have any...

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Lemon

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Let me think...I read something once about flowers having ears(?) but like not ear ears just something about having a part that picks up sound waves

70. left or right handed?

Right

71. least favorite pattern?

Lolll animal print I think

72. worst subject?

Physics...the worst science

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

6...?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I don’t remember, it probably happened when i was 6. I do remember losing one of my front teeth during my birthday one year and I was happy since the tooth had been loose for some time xD

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Chips I guess or just like fried in skillet

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

A succulent probably

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Neither ew

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

They are both about equally terrible

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Fireflies

82. pc or console?

I am on pc side now

83. writing or drawing?

Writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts I guess

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology, it’s too fun and chaotic lol

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Hm...cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

Uh,,,I don’t have many fears but I guess one would be falling from a great height? So I would get scared of crossing a bridge and it collapsing or riding a plane and it falling easily

88. your greatest wish?

World peace🥲

89. who would you put before everyone else?

My mom maybe...?

90. luckiest mistake?

I honestly don’t remember but something I do remember is I out semicolon instead of period and turned out to be correct grammar lol

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight or fairy lights, I don’t require much either way and prefer more natural lighting

93. nicknames?

Lassie, twinkle toes, Ash, poody butt (by 3 yr old I sometimes watch and play with lol he means it affectionately; I call him monkey butt and it’s catching on slowly instead)

94. favorite season?

Starting to be fall just a little more but I like transition times most

95. favorite app on your phone?

Let’s go with twitter

96. desktop background?

It is a moriarty and gang pic

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

2: mine and my moms

98. favorite historical era?

Ooo tough one but I’ll say renaissance as some of the coolest things came from that time

[havenesa-sera-fina]

Hidden Marks [4: Promises and Regrets]

Summary: Wrapping his own arms around her shoulders, Namjoon pulled her in, resting his head on the crown of her head, his heart beating steadily, which Sera heard and smiled to herself. Even with his odd lengthy limbs, they fit together perfectly, "Sera, I'm falling in love with you, that I want to convince you not to go, but I trust you. I just want you to be happy, to never cry over us again. I can't promise you that if you choose to stay with us, everything will be rainbows and sunshine, but I promise you that we won't give up on you, on this relationship. We're not perfect like everyone thinks we are, we're not the perfect bunch of soulmates, we have problems as a group and individuals, secrets that we all keep, burdens that we try to carry on our own. Though we all have each other, to fall back on when things get brought, and that includes you now. We're soulmates, so if anything happens, don't be scared to tell us.

(Poly BTS/OT7 x Reader/OC)

College Au / Soulmate Au

Disclaimer: Bts isn't my or any real life people (obviously.) Any other characters are my though. This is my story so do not republish this anywhere or I will report.

There maybe some triggers, but I will address them within the chapters.

Sources: Wattpad

Word count: 2199

I didn't leave my room.

Well, that was a lie.

I would leave whenever I knew Kimie had left for classes for the day. Occasionally she would knock on my door, to tell me there was food to eat. Kimie always made sure to tell me whenever she was going to leave and would text me when she was gonna come back. Maybe she was just trying to give me room to breathe, and I was grateful for it.

It continued like that till next Monday, luckily my doctor emailed my school about why I was missing school for a week. I also managed to finish any online assignments that my teachers posted.

I didn't want to get too far behind.

Reluctantly I woke up early this morning and began my usual morning routine to get ready for school. I was more cautious though, to make fewer sounds as I didn't want to wake up Kimie.

When I walk through the campus, I kept my head low, but I didn't even know why. I expected to feel anxious and scared to jump into Lilia or any of her boyfriends, but I felt nothing. Ever since I said those words to Jungkook, I felt hopelessly empty.

Maybe it was because I wasn't taking my medication, and with that, I made a mental note to call my doctor later. Earlier when I walked out to the living room, I didn't see any of my pills on the ground, which Kimie most likely cleaned up. Now that did cause me to feel something, guilt.

"You're finally up and walking darling!" I heard a familiar and comforting voice behind me, as I stopped walking and turned around. Baekhyun with his dazzling smile and warm eyes stared back at me.

Not with pity, sadness or with cautious eyes, but his usual self.

I was grateful to him.

When he reached me, he engulfed me in a hug without another word, and just held me there. In his arms, it always felt safe and reassuring, but it didn't ever fill that empty feeling. However, with nearly a week of isolation from people, I really just needed to be held.

So instead of pulling away, I buried my face into his chest, as I wrapped my own arms around him. In return, he tightened his grip, resting his chin on my head, as he murmured a simple, "I'm here, you're not alone Sera."

Those words caused a faucet within me to turn, as the tears came slowly at first, but within a few moments, I was sobbing in his arms, "Everything hurts Baekhyun," I knew people were staring, but I didn't care, "I wish we can just go back to high school, so I don't have to feel all this pain."

"We can't ever go back...but know, that I'm always here. You can share your pain with me, you don't have to bare it alone.

"It hurts whenever I see them together, it hurt so fucking badly."

There was a wisp of a lie, as the pain was numb, both emotionally and physically. I just couldn't figure out which was worse, the numbness or the pain.

*****

Snorting, I wanted to fling my sandwich at Baekhyun as he showered me with senseless and the weirdest praises. His attempts to make me feel better.

We were currently seated at a café off-campus, but nearby enough where we just walked there. I ended up skipping class, with Baekhyun convincing me, as he showed me that he already picked up the notes I've missed and the paper assignments he had. Guess he was planning to take me out whenever I decide to leave the comforts of my room.

"Remember they are just Walmart and you are target!" He all but yelled at me, garnering a few looks from nearby customers. Some with annoyance and others with amusement, "They're just samples and you're a full-course meal!"

That one I nearly choked on the coffee I was drinking, and burst out laughing, "What the hell Hyunnie."

A wide smile spread across his face, "Honestly, they're missing out if you asked me," he then shoved a huge piece of his pancake in his mouth.

Rolling my eyes, I leaned back into my chair and crossed my arms over my chest, "We still up to go to the fair?"

"Hell yeah! Let's go this Saturday and just go crazy, forget everything, scream our lungs out, walk till our legs give out, stuff our stomachs till we give birth to a food baby and get wasted!"

Much to the contradictory belief that Baekhyun was as innocent can be with his appearance, he was quite a party animal when he wanted to be. Even throughout our high school years, we went to multiple parties, from the simple ones to the ones that cops would bust down. Of course, he never let his partying ways affect him academically, as he was a dazzling student, but whenever he needed to let off some steam, you'd find him at some frats house party. Occasionally he'd drag me along with him, and it wasn't the partying that was worth memorizing, but it was the drunken talks and confessions that were worth remembering if I could remember them at least.

We were so preoccupied, that we didn't notice three figures walk into the café and take a seat to the table next to us.

Once I drank all my coffee, I ended up ordering another as I still felt tired and miserable. Though it was lessened with Baekhyun.

Running a hand down my face, I sighed slightly in frustration, "How the hell am I going to apologize to Lilia? I practically yelled at her boyfriend and been a shitty friend.

Baekhyun scoffed at that, "why do you need to apologize?" His voice sounded slightly harsh, but I knew it wasn't directed towards me, "You were already having a shit couple of days and the moment you decide to go home, she blows upon your face? To top it all off, she crossed a boundary when she tried revealing your marks."

That part I couldn't easily forgive and forget.

Lilia, Kimie and Baekhyun knew about how I felt about my marks. How I didn't feel at all comfortable about showing it to anyone. Also, the topic of soulmates and how I never liked talking about it. It was ironic, when I was younger I never shut up about it.

Yet Lilia had completely disregard and pushed every boundary there was, and yet, I still felt guilty, "she was just worried about me."

"We all were and you don't see Kimie trying to force you to do something you didn't want to do."

We paused momentarily when the waiter came back with our coffees, before Baekhyun continued on with his little speech, "I get you feel like you owe her and that you made a promise, but you need to start thinking about yourself. About your health and happiness darling. What happened years ago wasn't your fault, and no one should hold it over your head. Sure your brother wanted Lilia to be happy and loved, but I'm sure as hell he wants the very same for you."

"Maybe I'm being selfish, but I wish I never took that gap year," I mumbled, shoulders sinking as I could only stare at my coffee. I had now lost my appetite for any sweets, "Things could have been so different."

"It's not selfish!" He spoke a little too loudly, causing some people to now hush him a little, but he paid no mind, "You could still change things, still be with your soulmates. The only one holding yourself back is yourself."

"How can I possibly ruin Lilia's happiness now?"

"She would understand, and if she doesn't, then she never really was your friend in the first place."

Even with Baekhyun's words, it didn't stop the guilt eating away at me, for everything.

Lilia was just worried about me, that was the reason why she blew up on me. Even I could admit that I hardly tell her much of anything and that I did become distant. Because no matter what, they were always with her, and it was just so damn painful to be around her, with them being so loving and caring towards her. It was selfish, but I can't help but feel bitter whenever I see them together.

"Hey," a voice cut beside us, and I flinched at the harshness because I knew who it was from.

Turning to look, Yoongi, Taehyung, and Hoseok we're sitting beside us, with their own coffee and food. All three hard an unreadable expression, except Yoongi, who seemed to have a pissed off one. His glare was directed towards me and it caused me to shift uncomfortably in my chair.

"We'd appreciate if you wouldn't talk about our girlfriend behind her back," Yoongi bit out, obvious anger seeping out of him.

However, instead of feeling my mark flare up in pain, there was this numbing feeling that overcame me. I only stared blankly at him, not really knowing what to say. Any other time my heart would skip a beat, but I don't even know if it's still beating right now.

Then I remembered last night, that I indirectly rejected them.

"And I'd appreciate if she doesn't force someone to reveal their soul marks," Baekhyun hissed out, with just enough venom as he matched Yoongi's glare.

I moved my eyes away from the three boys and back at Baekhyun, who looked ready to jump at Yoongi. Sighing, I kicked him gently underneath the table to catch his attention, "Let's go, I can miss my chem class but not my bio class."

"Why the hell do we have to leave?" He hissed out.

Rolling my eyes, I stood up and gathered my stuff, "Because I'm tired Hyunnie, so let's just go. Okay?"

He didn't reply for a second, but then he stood up, and glared angrily at the three boys, "You better keep your girlfriend in check, because next time she tries to force Sera into doing something she doesn't want to do, we're going to have problems."

"Baekhyun!" I gasped at his little threat.

I knew Baekhyun was never fond of Lilia, but she was still my friend and even I don't appreciate his threat towards her. The three boys didn't also.

"What! She has seven guys protecting her, you need someone to be on your side!"

I only rolled my eyes, before dragging him out the Cafe.

The three boys watched them leave, as Taehyung ran his hands through his hair, a sigh of frustration gaining the attention of his other soulmates. He felt so many emotions, that he couldn't pinpoint an exact one, "Why the hell does she hate us so much? She cursed at Kookie for god's sake."

Ever since last week when Jungkook brought a sobbing Lilia back to their apartment, Taehyung had felt such a numb feeling. Something felt off, and even the sight of his crying girlfriend couldn't make him break out of it. When Jungkook then told them what had transpired, he was filled with so much rage, but not towards Sera but at Lilia, for trying to force someone to reveal their soulmate mark. So when she looked at him expectantly, as if waiting for him to comfort her, it only filled him with annoyance that he just went in his room and ignored her.

Soul marks were something so intimate and private, and people should be allowed to hide it if they wanted to. To have someone try to force a person to reveal it, it just wasn't something right.

Jimin has attempted to ask why he was being cold towards Lilia but in all honesty, he didn't know.

Taehyung was never like this, always being the first to comfort Lilia whenever she was upset, make her feel loved and safe. However, something about this situation just felt off, and he ended up telling Jimin to drop it and to leave him alone. To which he did, but without stating that Lilia was upset at him.

"Why do you care if she likes us or not?" Hoseok asks curiously, bringing up his hand to comfortingly rubbing the silver-haired boy's neck.

Instantly the touch of his soulmate soothes him, and he leaned into Hoseok's touch, "It's just that..." he whined slightly, trying to find the right words to express how he felt, "Since last week I've felt off and I don't know why. I don't like the fact that Sera doesn't like us for no reason."

He ended up burying his head into Hoseok's shoulder, just trying to relish in his warmth and presence. Usually just cuddling to anyone of his soulmate would comfort him, but this time it didn't and it left an empty feeling in his heart.

Taehyung missed the worried looks that Hoseok and Yoongi shared with one another.

The one feeling that was clear, was the anger he felt when he saw Baekhyun's hand on Sera's lower back, to guide her out of the café.

Never before did he feel like attacking another person.

[lunarssong]

I feel like this should go here, too. (Post is being written by Sieglinde, @punkroselalonde.)

(Transcript below the cut.)

I think we've talked about this here before, but I don't think I have, and we left the house twice in the past week or two, so I'm thinking about it again.

The difference in how people treat you with a cane and how they treat you without one is shocking. We're getting used to the new treatment now, but it's still so different.

The one time we rode the bus, it was a vastly different experience, even ignoring the changes due to COVID. In a thrift store, an elderly shopper was very apologetic for accidentally getting in our way.

In Hot Topic, an employee moved a chair out of our way, and other shoppers were also much more apologetic/accommodating/polite than strangers tend to be.

In a Walmart, when we saw a visibly distressed, shivering, and alone dog wearing a service dog vest, who was trying very hard to get our attention, and sat with him to try to help him out until someone came back + sent our sibling off to go look for our parent, because I was just at a loss for what to do, and was really concerned about whoever he was supposed to be with, though he was acting off-duty, since he still had a vest on.

People passing by assumed that he was ours. (For anyone else also concerned, Henry was the service dog of the late girlfriend of the man he was there with, and he was shivering because he'd come inside while it was raining. So, very reasonable explanation he was cold, and wasn't with whoever needed him.)

I also believe we've been semi-followed by employees in stores as of late, though not with ill intent. They just really want to help us and make sure we're finding everything okay so much more than they used to.

There's also been concerned looks when whoever we're with walks off someplace else (usually our sibling) and we stay, because we realized we needed a basket or buggy or something and didn't want to walk all the way over and back, and prefer to wait.

On the topic of the bus - The driver asked if we wanted the bus lowered when we were getting off, and began to lower it before we could automatically respond with "No, it's fine" from the "don't be an inconvenience" instincts.

It's not necessarily *bad* that people are being more accomodating of us now, just.. new.

We've always had invisible disabilities most of the time, aside from when we can't suppress tics or fully mask, which is terrifying, but doing it is so uncomfortable and exhausting, so that's a different situation, or sometimes for the few moments it takes to get out and use our inhaler before putting it away again, but no one actually treats asthma like the physical disability it is.

There are a lot of other things/places I'm honestly almost excited to do/go, just out of curiosity about what ways people will treat us differently now.

The soonest one is sometime this month, I forget exactly when. We're going to finally get vaccinated for COVID. Of course, the majority of people there will also be disabled, which is also pretty interesting to think about - We've never actually been in a space with primarily only disabled people present before.

But, that factor might mean less of the aggressively accomodating behavior than we generally get in public now, at least from other patients/patrons/etc. Employees, though, I suspect may still act roughly the same way.

I guess my interest in this is probably some kind of psychology thing. I know @iris-sylph-of-mind finds it interesting, too, and they're the one in our system with a reputation for literally taking notes on headmates' behaviors, tone, body language, moods, motivations, etc, and she also likes to do a lot on Fear alignment and classpect/sway, the connections between them, and assigning them to people, so it wouldn't surprise me if it's something similar.

Ramble over, I think.

[etraytin]

Quarantine, Day 232 for real and Day 233

October 29 and 30 Okay, time to stop doomscrolling and obsessively looking at poll results and predictions so I can actually make a journal entry. Making myself nervous and afraid is not going to help anything, not when I'm already doing everything I can. It's just that the flashbacks to 2016 are getting stronger every day and I was so shattered then that it left deep marks on my poor little psyche. I really,really, really do not want to have to go through that again, do not want to have to explain to the kiddo what the grownups have done, again, do not want to have to be unable to even speak to my parents for weeks again. Please, please let this time be different.  Anyway. I did not journal yesterday because I forgot, but it was another set of not too exciting days that are easy to bundle. The kiddo got enough of his work done by the end of the day yesterday that I gave him back electronics privileges, including permission to start Fallout 4. I wasn't super happy about the start where they literally fridged the mom, but my husband pointed out that the fridging is entirely gender neutral and depends solely on which half of the couple the player chooses to embody. So I guess that's a little better? Anyway, it's an interesting game that I can't play and can barely watch because it is hell on my motion sickness, but Husband and the kiddo are enjoying it a lot.  Last night was trunk or treat at the kiddo's school, but it was a "drive through" trunk or treat that basically consisted of literally driving past the open trunks of a bunch of the teachers and their families, who had dressed up and decorated their cars. No candy was exchanged, but at the end of the drive, you pulled up at the main portico of the school and were given a bag full of candy while the costumed mascot of the school danced to a child-friendly version of Uptown Funk. (I'm too hot! Oh yeah!) It was all very surreal and didn't really require the kids to dress up at all, but there was candy and that was the important part. The kiddo does not like caramel or peanut candies much, which works out great for me because I got all his Snickers and Twix bars.  Today was another school day but the kiddo felt like it was practically vacation because he only had to do the work assigned that day and no more makeup assignments. Now that he's caught up we need to work on multiplication tables, but that'll come soon enough. I was busy being on hold with the cable company because they raised our bill by 30% and I did not want them to do that. Luckily I was eventually able to connect with a very nice representative who managed to get me the same package for only like a dollar more per month with another one-year promotion deal. So we'll have to go through it all next year again, but that sounds like a problem for Future Me.  Today was also the day to build the grocery list, or rather rebuild the one I built last week but that was lost when the Walmart app updated. This new update is very bad and slow so there will hopefully be an update for the update soon, but until then, I need groceries! We also need camping supplies, because our new Cub Scout pack is going overnight camping! It's just a one-night deal in the big local park, but they gave us six campsites at a big discount, so there'll be plenty of room to spread out in safe ways. We were sad to miss the three-day campout like we had last year, but this small camping expedition will still be fun. Our tent is hilariously massive, a ten-person tent for two people, but it does give us plenty of room to spread out! And I got it for free from my folks when they stopped camping, which is my favorite price for things. It's definitely going to be cold though, so we'll be packing along plenty of blankets. Last year I had two weanling kittens, Mork and Mindy, who I had to bring along as well, and it was much harder to keep them warm than to keep us warm. This is going to be much simpler!  That's about all there is to report for the end of this week. One of my TNR friends is moving away, bummer, so I went out to her moving sale to say goodbye and pick over the stuff she was getting rid of. She already donated most of her trapping supplies to our rescue, but I did pick up a few new screwdrivers, a hammer, and a needlenose pliers. I have all those things already, but damned if I can ever find them when I need them. Like scissors, pens or masks, the only way to ensure having one when you need it is to have lots of them and put them everywhere. 

[aswallowssong]

Second Child, Restless Child

Chapter 5 - The Devil in Me

@valkyrie-5583

Read on AO3

The second part of a gap fill for 1x13, Poison. TW for illness, hospitals, and drug mentions. Also super minor character death? 

After JJ, Reid, and Hotch learn a little more about Kit's family, the nurse-out-of-water feels the effects of the field crash over her. As she and Gideon continue to butt heads, she wonders how this is ever going to work. She's helpful in her own right, but if she can't get the respect and the support of the whole team, how will she ever belong?

The ride to the hotel was comfortable enough. Reid and Kit sat in the back while JJ sat in the passenger seat, and the communications liaison took her chance to pick and pry when Kit couldn’t escape her questions. She’d been trying since the moment Kit had been shuffled onto their team, but Kit had been able to avoid it thus far. She hated ‘get to know you’ questions, as they reminded her of terrible high school teachers and their lack-luster ice breakers.

“So, Kit, do you have siblings?”

Kit nodded, though the woman couldn't see her. She’d play along, of course, and this was an easy question. She loved talking about her siblings.

“Oh, yeah. There’s nine of us.”

Reid made a sound next to her that sounded like choking, but when she looked he wasn’t dying. He was instead, astonished.

“Nine?”

“Yeah,” she said easily, “nine.”

Hotch knew that, he’d read her file, but he asked anyway, “What number are you?”

“Five,” Kit said before smiling, “sort of? There’s Wash, and then Ginny and Seese. Ari, and Monty, and I. Then George, and Alex, and Lina’s the baby.”

“That puts you sixth,” Reid said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and Kit was suddenly ten years old.

Didn’t we just have a pseudo heart-to-heart about being treated like a child?

Kit tried not to roll her eyes before she remembered that the only one who knew about Ari and Monty was Morgan. And, probably Hotch, of course.

“Ari and Monty and I are triplets,” she said evenly, “and technically, I was born second of the three of us.”

“Wow,” JJ said, “triplets? I can’t imagine what that would be like.”

“It’s great, actually,” Kit assured, not being able to stop the spreading smile on her face. “We get along really well. Monty and I are actually monozygotic twins, which means-”

“Monozygotic twins, often called identical twins, are the result of one egg fertilized by one sperm that experiences postzygotic division.”

Reid’s voice was rougher than before, telling of the fact that the medicine she’d given him had worn off, as he effectively cut her off. She tried not to take offense at him interrupting her and telling her about her own fetal development. He’d interrupted others in several conversations. Regardless, she felt her lips tug into a frown.

“Exactly. My Gran used to say that Monty and I have twin souls, though my mam and dad have always said that Ari was one half of the soul, and we were the other half, you know, together.”

JJ turned all the way around in her seat, grinning as she listened to Kit speak of her family.

“So, Ari and Monty are nicknames, right?”

Kit nodded again, frown dissipating.

“Right. My parents immigrated from Ireland, and they spoke Irish, or Gaelic, better than English. They wanted to stick out less, or so they say, so they, well,” she thought for a moment before she couldn’t stop the small giggle forcing its way up her throat. “They thought it would be a really good idea to name their kids after the states. Like, literal American states.”

“Like Dakota,” Hotch offered, and Kit wrinkled her nose. 

“Yeah, like Dakota. My family all call me Kody, but I prefer Kit.”

“And Monty is, what? Montana?” JJ asked, now looking determined. As if it was some kind of game.

Kit nodded again, saying, “Exactly. The thing is that some states, like thankfully Dakota, are names. But some…” She shrugged lightly, “Not so much.”

“Can I guess?”

JJ, not surprising to Kit, was giving off a competitive energy that would rival the one she got off Morgan the few times they’d raced at the track.

“She could just tell us,” Reid offered, but JJ just scoffed.

“No way, Spence. You’re just afraid you’re going to lose.”

Reid narrowed his eyes at her, and though Kit could feel his slight trembling next to her, fever burning once again, she knew he wasn’t going to back down. He even gave her and JJ half a smirk before saying, “You’re on.”

In the end, it was Hotch that came up with a surprising upset. Reid was vehemently denying that ‘Seese’ was a nickname for Tennessee, and JJ was still upset that Reid won the “guess what number I’m thinking of” game and got to go first.

“No way that’s fair,” she’d complained when Reid gave a small, raspy noise of victory and guessed that Wash was short for Washington, obviously.

Hotch had gotten lucky and gone second, securing that George was actually Kit’s younger sister, Georgia, and had gotten that Lina was Carolina, the baby of their very large family.

“You went after Carolina right away, Hotch,” JJ said, laughing at Reid’s dejected mumbling. That was the second time he’d lost a game that day.

“Familiar territory.”

“Is that so?” Kit asked, raising an eyebrow at the stern man in the driver’s seat. “Did you work in their field office?”

“No, I worked in their Walmart,” he said simply, turning into the parking lot of their hotel. He didn’t add or give any more about it, and they didn’t pry, though Kit had to fight a grin at the idea that their stern unit chief could be secretly southern.

-----

Hotch checked in and passed them their keys, Kit taking hers with slightly wide eyes. She’d only stayed in a hotel a few times, and the idea that she was now left to her own devices in a hotel she’d never been in, in a state she didn’t know, really got her mind racing. She realized quickly that no one else was feeling the anxiety she was. They were all familiar with this, and it seemed to be easy for them to turn off the part of their brain that was working on the case.

Instead, she was running her brain, trying to think of anything she knew that could help them catch the unsub that was hurting these people. She dealt in people. People were her thing. People were the reason she had been assigned to the pilot position she was in. The reason she was in New Jersey when she could just as easily be home, getting ready for bed while she listened to Ari sing around their apartment as he got ready for his shift. 

They would give the profile. The team would give the profile and she would watch with JJ. She would try to help however she was asked, and she would keep an eye on Reid while being sensitive to not treat him like a child. 

She followed JJ and Reid up to their floor, Hotch having stayed to give the others their keys, and nodded and responded politely when JJ had wished her goodnight. Reid hadn’t done as much, though she had missed his attempt to get her attention before she’d closed her door behind her.

Once inside she drew what could have passed for her first real breath all day. Between Reid’s sniffling, apologizing to Morgan, the jet, the hospital, taking care of Reid without making him feel like a child, and tiptoeing around Gideon- Which didn’t even work! - Kit was stretched too thin. With the door shut, the only emotions she could pick up on were her own. Which, honestly, we’re never just her own.

Ari and Monty called them Big Feelings; them being the swelling and surging of her own emotions that were kept buried to grow as the day went on. She could tend to the needs of others and keep her own feelings in check, but the thing about Kit was that the more she dealt with others, the more the feelings being buried in her chest compounded. Try as she might, she couldn’t really differentiate between what she created herself and what she took from others. 

Most days were perfectly fine. It wasn’t like everyone around her was melting down simultaneously, every single day. But some days, when there’d been so much and there were so many people and so many situations, she absolutely crashed.

In retrospect, she held on for longer than she thought she would, the deep, even breaths she was drawing distracting her from the energy that built. Her fingers working to unzip her go bag. She pulled out her pajamas, shedding her jacket and cardigan before making her way to take a shower. 

She took out her contacts. Shed the rest of her clothes. Took her shower. Brushed her teeth. Braided her hair. 

She kept her breathing even through every motion, changing into her pajamas and settling cross legged on the bed. Her fingers of her right hand tapped lightly on her thigh while the fingers of her left pulled tightly at her braided, sopping wet hair. The right braid was dripping clean shower water onto her shoulder, the left sending a slow cascade of water down her arm. She sat for five minutes that way, breathing evenly, staring at the blurry white wall in front of her and willing herself not to crash. Not to crash. Not to crash.

And then, she crashed.

All at once, everything in her body felt like it was vibrating. Her breaths came in hitches that were shallow and choppy, her chest heaving sharply with each one. Nothing like the pace she’d been trying to keep for that last fifteen minutes. They sputtered and cut each other off, tears running down her cheeks and falling in large drops, adding to where her braids had already left dark wet spots on her pale yellow tee shirt. 

It wasn’t loud. It had never been loud, regardless of the way her mind seemed to be screaming. She was way too warm, warmer than she had been in the steaming water of the shower. Her chest ached with a flurry of feelings that flashed and passed so quickly she couldn’t hope to name them. It left her helpless, hands clenching and unclenching, fingers occasionally scratching up and down her arms or thighs. The emotional overload left her with internal mania and, other than her fingers roaming and tears flowing, external shutdown. She didn’t have to bury anymore. The emotional zombies of the last eighteen hours could come to light.

Ari always let her come down on her own time. Sometimes he held her tightly, and sometimes he left her to her own devices. Most of the time he stayed in the same space. On the couch opposite her. Sat at the kitchen table as she sat on the counter. Cross legged at the end of her bed.  He didn’t try to have her put the thoughts or emotions into words. He didn’t press her or tell her it would be okay. That she was okay, because really, she wasn’t. He just let it pass. 

She knew it could be as short as ten minutes or as long as forty five. One time, an hour, but that was the first time she’d lost a patient. The time didn’t matter as much to her. Ten or sixty, the number of minutes always felt like an eternity. She didn’t know how long it would take this time, sat in a New Jersey hotel room. Especially when on top of everything else, she felt so completely alone.

As far as Kit was aware, it could have been seven minutes or seven hours when the thing that finally grounded her back to the real world was a steady three-wrap knock at her door. Her hands stilled instantly, the deepest breath she’d taken since the wave crashed over her almost making her dizzy. 

Her head swiveled towards the door, and it was a moment before her mind could catch up. She was in her hotel room. Someone was knocking on the door.

Get up and open it. Come on, Kody. Stand up and open the door.

She swallowed thickly, wiping a shaking hand down her face. The bed was close to the door, and while she sat staring at the door, the knock came again. Three wraps in rapid succession. Her brain started to catch up, the distraction pulling her out of the waves she was drowning in.

Hotch? Could it be Hotch? Did someone actually get poisoned this late at night? Gideon was right, she shouldn’t have said anything. Now it was going to be her fault and there would be disappointment and anger and annoyance and-

Stop.

It took longer than it should have for her to pull herself off of the mattress, shaking her head quickly as if to expel the internal debate. Everything in her chest told her not to get up, but her head won and allowed her to quickly scramble from her spot and pad across the room. 

In hindsight, she should have checked to make sure she didn’t look like a complete disaster. She never had to worry about that at home, so it hadn’t crossed her mind how she might be perceived as she stood there; pajamas on, wet hair, flushed, tear tracks and red eyes against shaky pale skin. 

She squinted at the person on the other side of the door once she all but flung it open. Tall. Dark hair. Tee shirt. Skinny. To her untrained and straining eyes, she was unsure who she was looking at.

Before the other person could speak she held up her hand, still trembling, and turned to dig in her backpack. The glasses she pulled out were seldom used, but she had lost a contact on three separate occasions in the last year, and she wasn’t going to fly half-blind into a crisis. 

She turned, unceremoniously shoving the thin frames onto her face, and looked at her offender.

Spencer Reid. Pale as ever, clearly fever flushed, and looking at her with glassy-eyed concern.

“Are you crying?” is what he ended up asking before stifling a raspy coughing fit into his elbow. 

Kit narrowed her burning eyes at him, but there were no lasers in her stare. Confusion, and exasperation, but not the lasers she’d set on him all those hours before.

“Do you need something? I thought you went to bed.”

He cleared his throat and winced, swallowing as if it was physically painful before he came up with, “I did. I was. Um, I mean, I was try-trying to? I, um.” 

His hands came up to wring together at waist height, his eyes looking everywhere but at her. Uncomfortable. He was uncomfortable. Probably from having come into her personal space where she was very obviously having a very private meltdown.

“You were trying to… oh.” It took longer for her to piece together than it should have. Her mind was still foggy, trying to stay above the waves she’d just been so jarringly pulled from. “You were trying to sleep and you couldn’t.”

“Yes,” he supplied quickly, “Because, well,” he sighed, a hand going to run through his hair. He curled his arms over his chest then, clearing his throat again. “Because my head is pounding and I’m freezing and my throat hurts. And the stuff you had earlier helped. And I was… I was wondering if-”

She did cut him off now, having been careful not to up to that point, but she could feel his discomfort growing the longer he tried to explain himself. He was struggling to be vulnerable, and she wasn’t going to make it worse by allowing him to trip over himself longer than necessary.

“If I had more.”

“Yes.” 

“Of course I do, sit down,” she supplied, gesturing awkwardly to the bed she’d just been sat on, taking a breath and straightening her shoulders. 

She never had to turn back on after she’d let herself shut down. It was always, always in times where she knew she could be either asleep or a zombie for the rest of the night, and she was trying to fight back to functioning as she dug through her backpack once more.

She heard him take a moment before settling down on the bed, sniffling a few times in a way that made Kit want to scream, but instead just caused her to dig more frantically. 

Blue pills. Blue pills. Come on, Dakota, where are they? Why is your bag such a mess? Why are you such a mess? Reid probably thinks you can’t handle this, and how he’s going to tell Gideon, and they’re going to tell Hotch, and-

“Are you okay?”

Her hands froze in between a wrist brace and a bottle of ibuprofen. 

“Yes,” she said evenly, though her whole body tensed, “Why do you ask?”

“Well,” he said quietly, “You’re breathing picked up, and when you answered the door, you were crying. And the longer you look through your backpack the more agitated you seem.”

It was quiet for a moment. Kit didn’t resume her digging, but instead turned to face Reid at his spot atop her bed. 

“What happened to not profiling one another?” She asked after a moment. 

His eyebrows pulled together, searching for a moment before his head tilted, tongue flicking over chapped lips before he offered, “It’s okay if this is hard. Gideon always says that-”

“It’s not,” she said, effectively cutting him off for the second time in the five minutes he’d been in her room. She didn’t care at all what Gideon always said.

He looked unconvinced, suspicion flooding off of him, in addition to the sick feeling he’d already been sending her way. 

She could feel her hands clenching, and she closed her eyes for a moment.

He has no idea. He has no idea so you can’t be upset with him. He doesn’t know anything about you. He probably thinks you’re just as incompetent as Gideon does. Don’t give him any fuel for the fire.

“It’s not hard,” she said, just a bit softer than before. “I’m perfectly capable, and I’m tired. Here.” 

She turned and pulled the blue blister pack out of her backpack, hand suddenly knowing exactly where it was.

Naturally.

“Take these. I’ll give you the other ones in the morning.”

Reid looked down at the pills for a moment before he worried at his lip, eyes nervous as he asked, “You’re really not going to tell Hotch?”

“No, Reid, I’m really not going to tell Hotch. And I won’t tell Gideon either. No one knows. Go to sleep.”

She watched as he took a moment before nodding at her, standing up and heading for the door. He was halfway through before he turned and shifted his weight on his feet.

“Dakota?”

I might kill this one. Just this one.

“Reid?”

“Thank you,” he said softly, “again. I’m sorry that I intruded.”

She watched him for a moment before she shook her head. She realized that the trembling had stopped, and she didn’t feel as foggy anymore. Having a distraction, even if the distraction sniffled and asked probing questions and used her first name, it had helped.

She let herself give him a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“It’s okay, that’s why I’m here. Get some sleep.”

He nodded gently, returning her half smile with one of his own.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

She watched as he closed the door, the room becoming isolated again. She settled back on the bed, only allowing herself to be lost for a moment before she shut the light out.

-----

“We believe whoever poisoned these people was motivated by revenge,” Hotch was saying. They’d met early to give the profile, but it was later than they’d wanted when they were finally able to gather all the officers. 

They were all pushed to one side of the room, sitting on various surfaces or standing in the middle where they could easily be seen. Kit had sat on top of the desk Reid was sitting in, wordlessly pressing a cup of tea into his slightly trembling hands. They’d found a moment when they weren’t being watched for her to slip the pills into his hand, but she’d only been able to find a drink just before Hotch had begun.

Morgan was continuing what Hotch had started, and Reid took the moment to slip the medication into his mouth, chasing it with a too-large sip of too-hot tea. Kit had to hold her snicker at the face he pulled.

“The randomness of the victimology - average people in an average-sized town... All points to a local resident.”

“We know that people who poison for the purpose of revenge primarily act alone,” Elle continued. 

“However,” Hotch added, “he may have manipulated someone close to him to assist him. The unsub usually disposes of these accomplices when they're of no further use to him.”

Kit listened as they bounced around, all taking a part of the profile to deliver. She paid attention as closely as she could, taking in everything that was being said, and wishing that she could be able to see what they all saw.

She focused on Reid saying, ”This individual was savvy enough to use rohypnol to obstruct our investigation, erasing the memories of the victims of how they were poisoned,” and she felt herself nodding along with him, listening closely to his voice and watching to see if anyone had picked up on what she’d been trying to help him mask. 

So far her efforts seemed successful, and she let herself feel good about that. She could take care of this team. Hotch’s faith was well placed.

She focused back on the profile again, her heart sinking when the emotions in the room shifted dramatically. Gideon had said that a lot of people could die, and everyone had flooded the room with varying levels of anxiety. 

A lot of people could die, and they had limited time to find him.

JJ came up behind them, drawing the attention of the profilers around her. She whispered quietly to Hotch, though it was quiet everywhere now, and her words caused quick movement in every body that filled the small room.

“We have a leak.”

The small television in the station was turned on immediately, grainy and nearly not loud enough for them all to hear. 

“That's right, Steve. Neighbors became aware something was wrong when a local Beechwood restaurant closed early. From inside sources, we learned that representatives of the CDC began testing food inside the restaurant.”

Gideon spoke over the woman for a moment, a wave of agitation flying off of him. “If you're gonna report the story, name the restaurant.”

“Unconfirmed, we were told that some of the food had been tainted with hallucinogenic drugs,” the reporter continued, and Kit understood exactly what Gideon meant. 

“Name the restaurant,” he said again, and Kit found herself standing from her spot atop the desk. Spencer raised an eyebrow at her, but she gravitated towards the TV wordlessly.

“Until we do confirm all of this, we will not release the name of the restaurant. We'll only say it's a Beechwood area favorite. This is Suzanne Whang reporting live from Beechwood. Back to you, Steve.”

“Damn it,” Kit said forcefully, surprising herself a bit at the venom in her words. She rarely swore in English, and she went a bit pink at the thought that Irish would have probably been a more appropriate choice. 

Gideon was glaring daggers at her, not really looking like he cared much what she had said, but that she’d spoken at all.

“They didn't name the restaurant,” JJ said, not paying attention to anyone else. She sounded dejected, but kept her tone more even than Kit had. 

“What is it?” Detective Hanover said, looking confused.

“Call the local hospital, make sure they know what's coming. Excuse me,” Gideon said. Kit started to move before she realized he had been talking to JJ. 

Heat welled inside of her. He was asking JJ to contact the hospital when she was standing right there. She understood, of course, that JJ’s job was communication, but she was the one that had been running point with the hospital. Especially the day before, when she and Reid had nearly spent the whole day there. The pink of her face flushed to red, and her hands clenched.

“Where do your 911 calls get routed?” Hotch asked Hanover. His calm determination set her straight back into the throws of what was happening. The restaurant. No name given. People were going to freak out, no doubt in her mind. 

“There's a county phone bank. They contact first responders, the fire department.”

“Alert them, too. They're going to need additional personnel and any other backup you've got. Auxiliary cops. You're going to have to call them.” 

“But, why?”

Though Hotch was stoic and calm, Kit could feel the tense energy he now had. It would be a mess to get everything under control once the storm hit. 

“Because we're going to have a heck of a time just calming people down and we really don't need the confusion to interfere with our investigation,” Hotch answered, calm never failing. 

“Do you want me to start making those calls?” An officer asked readily, and Kit watched as that set Hanover right off the edge. 

He moved to the center of the room and started yelling, hands in the air.

Here we go.

“No, no, no, no. Hey, hey! Everybody please shut up for a minute. Tell me what this is all about.” 

There was a moment where everything stopped. JJ stood with the phone at her ear. All eyes were on Hanover, mostly surprise and confusion around them. 

Then the phones started. They all rang, loud and overlapping, deafening almost everything else in the air. 

There was a moment before Gideon simply said, “Panic.”

It took a moment for there to be any sort of control. People were answering phones left and right, including Kit, who was back at the desk she and Reid had started in.

“We can’t comment at this time, thank you,” she said for at least the fifth time, hanging the phone up and looking at Reid.

“How are you doing?”

“I’ll be far better when this is over,” he said, taking a sip from the tea she knew was probably now lukewarm at best. He got up and they moved to where JJ and Hotch were, following the lead of Elle and Morgan. 

“I just got off with the hospital. They're swamped with over 50 potential poisonings from local restaurants, but no hallucinations,” JJ said, hanging up the phone and looking around.

“Another poisoning?” Morgan asked.

“Or maybe more hysteria,” Hotch

“We've looked into any civil or criminal complaints from employees, ex-employees, Suppliers, regulars at the cafe. Not one good lead,” Hanover said. 

He was dejected. The inability to control what was happening to his own town was what Kit guessed had him giving off such a feeling of hopelessness.

“There's got to be somebody connected to that cafe who pops as a suspect,” Gideon said, rifling through some papers.

“Morgan, you wanna go back there, see if we can find another angle?” Elle suggested.

“Couldn’t hurt,” he said. 

The two of them turned to leave, and Hotch looked at the three still standing there. “JJ, you, Colghain, and Reid go to the hospital. See if any of the poisonings seem legit.”

-----

When they got to the hospital, JJ and Reid both waited for a moment outside the door. Kit stopped in her tracks, following their lead. There was an awkward moment before she said,

“What are we waiting for? Is someone meeting us?”

JJ shook her head, giving Kit a small smile.

“We’re following you. I made contact with the hospital, but I’m not sure exactly who is the best point of contact in an ER overrun like this. I assumed you do.”

Kit couldn’t help but give a small smile at the warmth that flooded her chest at those words. She and JJ hadn’t talked a lot, but between their guessing game in the car the night before, and the even temper and apt social skills she showed, Kit really respected and liked her. She was good to work with, and clearly knew how to read a room.

“I do. Stay out of the way as best you can and stay close, there will definitely be gurneys going in and out.”

They walked in, flashing their badges as they crossed back into the busy ER. There were gurneys as Kit had predicted, and she was almost overwhelmed by the amount of panic flooding the small ER hallway they found themselves in. She could feel JJ and Reid close to her, and she stopped the first nurse she saw.

“Hi, I’m Nurse Colghain with the FBI,” she said quickly, using a different title than she normally would. The nurse was holding a file, she didn’t have the moment Kit needed to assure her competence.

“The FBI has nurses?” The young nurse said, clearly a little skeptical, but antsy as she glanced towards her assumed destination.

“Yes, ma’am,” Kit said, speaking as she would to any of her nurses back at the clinic. “Where can I find your Head?”

“Nurses’ Station. Nurse Leah. Tall, dark hair. Excuse me.” She scampered off, but Kit had all she needed.

She led JJ and Spencer to the Nurses’ Station and spotted a tall, dark haired woman who was exuding calm, though just beneath it was clear uncertainty. 

“That’s her,” she said to Reid and JJ without turning around. “Excuse me,” she said louder, “Nurse Leah?”

The woman turned, searching for a moment before she spotted the out-of-place agents.

“Yes? Who are you?”

“I’m Nurse Cloghain with the FBI. This is Agent Jareau and Doctor Reid. Can we have a minute?”

Nurse Leah shook her head quickly, scowling a bit as the three agents bellied up to the Nurse’ Station wall.

“I really can't talk right now. We just got hammered,” she said, starting to walk away.

“Listen,” Kit said, moving to follow her, “most of these food poisonings are probably psychosomatic.”

“What makes you think that?” Nurse Leah said, her attitude changing to one of skepticism and annoyance.

“A news broadcast just reported a local restaurant was poisoned. Now, it would be a huge coincidence if there was another poisoning right after that aired,” JJ said, her voice shifting from the friendliness she’s used outside the hospital door to the political tightness she used with reporters.

“So what do you want me to do?” Nurse Leah said, her eyes darting between them.

“Help us find out which cases, if any, are real,” Reid said, posture straight, not a tremble in sight. He either felt great, or he was masking incredibly well.

“People are coming in with all kinds of complaints,” she said, “But, there's at least one case that isn't psychosomatic. She's barely breathing.”

Reid’s eyebrows pulled together, “Can you take us to the doctor that's treating that patient?”

Nurse Leah nodded, moving to take them with her. Reid and Kit moved to follow, but JJ started to walk away.

“I'll call Hotch,” she assured, and the two others nodded, letting her disappear down the hallway.

The doctor they were passed off to took them down the hallway and towards the patient’s room, talking all the while.

“When the patient got here, she didn't remember anything about her day. And her speech was so slurred, I could barely understand her.” He said. His body language was favored toward Reid once he’d been introduced as “Doctor,” but they hadn’t gotten to clarify that he was not that kind of doctor. Still, Kit hoped his genius brain could make connections faster than her medically inclined one could.

“It sounds like rohypnol,” Reid said, “Did you test her?”

They walked into the patient's room and Kit’s eyes went wide. She was coughing desperately, the oxygen mask over her nose and mouth doing little to prevent it.

“She was positive for rohypnol, negative for LSD. But, we're running more tests because rohypnol alone doesn't explain her symptoms. She presented with nausea, difficulty swallowing, labored breathing. She was also having trouble moving her legs.”

“How long had she been sick?” JJ asked.

“She didn't know. I could barely understand her when she first got her. Now, she can't speak at all.”

“And she’d been coughing like that the whole time?” Kit asked, glancing to the bed. Her heart ached at the panic she felt coming from the ill woman.

“Yes, consistently.”

“Do you know any biological agents that have similar symptoms: Ricin, Sarin gas?” Reid asked quietly, his back turned to the bed.

“You think this is a biological attack?” The doctor said, keeping his expression even.

“We can't rule anything out,” Reid said, eyebrows raised and arms crossed firmly over his middle. 

The doctor took a moment before he said, “I'll order a few more tests.”

Hotch arrived not very long after, meeting Kit, Reid, and JJ outside of the patient, Lynn Dempsey’s room. They bounced around ideas, but nothing seemed to stick. At one point Kit used “finding the restroom” as an excuse to dig out more pills for Reid, and the two of them did a seamless pass off in front of the decrepit coffee machine. 

It wasn’t twenty minutes before there was a call for Hotch, the unit chief pulling the phone to his ear.

“Morgan, it's Hotch. What's up?”

JJ’s voice came out sharp, having been looking into Ms. Dempsey’s room. “Guys, I think she's trying to say something.”

The three of them flooded into her room, getting close to the bed as she leaned towards them.

“The en,” she said. Her voice carried almost no weight, though the urgency was obvious. 

“The end?” JJ asked, looking at Reid and Kit. Kit shook her head, and Reid leaned forward.

“She may be incoherent from the lack of oxygen,” he said, eyes scanning. Kit moved closer to the bed, leaning in just a bit.

“Can you say it again, Ms. Dempsey?” She said gently. The tone and pacing she used with patients came second-nature to her, and it didn’t take any effort to shift from self conscious BAU draft to Head Nurse. 

“It’s the en-” Ms. Dempsey tried again before being cut off by coughs that sounded as if they were already choking her. 

“Doctor!” JJ called quickly, panic flooding from her, and Kit turned towards the other two agents. 

“Give her some space,” she said, not allowing wiggle room in her tone. She started moving back herself, drawing the other two with her. “Here, let’s give some room.”

The doctor came in, setting down the new tox screen and working quickly over Ms. Dempsey. It was a few minutes before things calmed enough for Kit to ask calmly,

“Doctor, do you mind if I look at that?”

She gestured to the tox screen, to which he nodded quickly. Kit picked it up and started rifling through it, listening as JJ asked, “So, what are the chances that she's not poisoned, that maybe she just got some bad food?”

“Highly improbable. Chances are basically nil,” he said. 

Hotch came to stand beside Reid.

“What is the rate of survival?” Reid asked.

“This dose,” the doctor said, “without anti-toxin... Zero.” 

“What is it?” Hotch asked.

Kit’s voice came quickly and quietly, eyes darting up from the tox screen. “Botulism.”

There was a moment of quiet before a Nurse said with seriousness, “Doctor, her BP is dropping rapidly.”

“It's sepsis. Give another amp of epi,” he said.

“She's going into defib.”

“She's crashing! Get the paddles.”

Kit watched as the nurses and doctor worked over Ms. Dempsey. She’d been on her share of crash teams, but she’d never just watched and done nothing as a patient started to code right in front of her. They were paging a code blue, starting CPR, and everything in her screamed that she should be helping. She should be doing something. She should be moving, or speaking, or reading charts and screens and percentages. Something. Anything.

The problem was, she didn’t know if she was allowed. She had no idea what the rules were about jumping on a code in a hospital that wasn’t yours. She’d never had to. She’d never talked to Hotch about anything like that. Her job was with the BAU, only assisting on cases that were medical. 

This case was medical, but where was the line?

“The test run is over,” Reid said, swallowing hard and heading out of the room.

He jarred her from her thoughts, and her eyes went to follow him as he walked out.

JJ followed immediately, but Kit stood there for a few extra moments before she felt a hand on her shoulder.

She turned away from Reid’s receding frame, looking up to see Hotch. His eyes held the same soft kindness they always did, and he gestured over his shoulder wordlessly. 

Kit took one last look at Lynn Dempsey, the doctor and nurses performing CPR on her lifeless body, before turning and following Hotch out of the hospital room.

Kit tried not to think of Lynn Dempsey as a patient dying in a hospital. She tried to think of Lynn Dempsey as a person outside of oxygen masks and heart monitors and charge paddles. 

It wasn’t helping that they went back to the police station, where the profilers sifted through her life in an attempt to see if she was a murderer.

“Lynn Dempsey was an executive assistant. She has no expertise with chemicals. She doesn't fit the profile of the unsub,” Gideon said, leafing through some of Dempsey’s information.

Morgan didn’t quite agree. “But the CDC found both LSD and rohypnol in the candy she was replacing at the bank.”

“She must have been an accomplice,” Hotch said, “and when the unsub finished using her to further his attack, he killed her with botulism.”

“So, what does that tell us about the unsub?” Gideon said, finally looking up and around at the team.

Reid leaned forward on the desk, furthest away from them all. “He's far more sophisticated than we realized,” he offered. 

Elle was getting frustrated, and she looked at Reid as if she was lost. 

“Why is that?” 

Reid looked as if he was going to respond, but suddenly cleared his throat in a way that made Kit’s eyebrows pull together. It sounded to her like he was trying not to cough, a small bit of anxiety rolling off of him as she connected the dots.

“The botulism toxin is the deadliest substance known to man,” she said, biding time and giving every bit of information she knew about what exactly the toxin was. Maybe it would help somehow. If anything, it would buy Reid some time. “It blocks acetylcholine receptors, paralyzing the body until it’s essentially choked death.” She looked around, watching as all eyes were on her. Reid had gotten himself back under control, and she gave a small shrug before she ended her spiel. “Without an antitoxin, a lethal dose will kill you in thirty six hours.”

The quiet that followed her information was nearly choking to Kit herself, and she could feel the variety of reactions to her speaking up. Morgan was surprised, but that was all. There was nothing hostile there. Hotch and Elle were processing and spinning again, trying to connect it all together. Gideon was either annoyed or unimpressed, neither of which made her feel any better. 

But Reid was grateful, which helped.

“How many people have access to this stuff?” Elle asked seriously, looking at Kit with anticipation.

“I don't know,” Kit said, and she turned her eyes to Reid.

“In New Jersey, quite a few,” he said, “It's the pharmaceutical and chemical capital of the U.S., so that the toxin can be ordered in the form of botox through any chemical or biological lab or botox clinic. It has to be purified, but any chemist or lab assistant has that capability.” 

“So, we're looking for chemists and sophisticated lab assistants?” Elle asked.

Reid nodded. “Basically.”

Morgan spoke up from the side of their group. He was the closest to Kit, and she was thankful that he had taken station there. While she tried to stay one step away and isolate, taking as infrequently as she could, it was reassuring that Morgan would choose that spot and keep her in the loop.

“Okay, wait a minute. If the unsub is a chemist with access to the toxin, what'd he need Dempsey for?”

“Well, we don't know yet,” Gideon said, “But, she worked for a, she worked for a company, called, uh,” he started rifling through the papers, “Hitchcock Pharmaceuticals. I think there's a good chance the unsub worked there, too.”

Hotch nodded. “Well, let's start with people who fit the profile who've had a recent stressor.”

Morgan called Garcia, and she found them some names to work with. Kit tried to pay attention, but Reid had settled himself down in one of the desks again, fingers trembling slightly, but nothing else giving him away.

While the team spoke she found herself walking to make another cup of tea, eyes darting to her backpack as she steeped the bag. She retrieved what she was looking for quickly, the honey stick having been tucked in there by Monty as a “just in case” item. Kit had laughed at her then, but she was glad for it now. 

When she came back and set the tea down next to Reid, making sure the rest of the team was distracted by the case, Elle was saying, “All those innocent people at the bank.”

Gideon didn’t seem concerned, and that bothered Kit to no end. 

“They meant nothing to him. He'll take out anybody to forward his cause.”

There was a moment that Kit wasn’t in the precinct anymore. She was at the hospital, watching Lynn Dempsey die before her very eyes. Her chest constricted, like she was being squeezed in the grasp of a snake. Grieving a woman she had never known.

“Like Dempsey,” she said.

Gideon didn’t seem to feel the weight of her comment the way she did, continuing on as if she’d barely spoken. 

“Like Dempsey, and eventually, even himself. Until he finishes taking out his primary targets.”

“We have no idea where he's going to strike next,” Morgan said, expressing the frustration we all had, “For all we know, he could poison the local reservoir.”

“Elle, the local cops haven't gotten any leads out of Dempsey. Why don't you go to Hitchcock and see if you have any luck,” Hotch said, causing Elle to perk up a bit.

“Yeah,” she said, nodding and moving out of her seat.

-----

“This is my job!” 

Kit was not yelling. She was speaking to Hotchner with a whole lot of heat, hands clenched by her sides so they wouldn’t tap. Wouldn’t tug. Wouldn’t give away how frustrated she was.

“Colghain, this is going to end in arrest, or suicide. You aren’t needed on this takedown, the profile doesn’t state that he will do anything to hurt anyone but himself.”

“But what if you’re wrong?” she said, “What if the profile is wrong and something happens.”

“The profile isn’t wrong,” came a voice over her shoulder. 

Kit closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Gideon was not going to make her lose her cool. Not like in Delaware. She was having a conversation with Hotch, and Gideon could think anything he wanted, but she would ignore him if it meant keeping her words and tone relatively professional.

“I would never forgive myself if something happened to any of you.”

She meant it, and Hotch knew that. She knew he could see it in her. He was the best profiler of them all.

“Nothing is going to happen. I appreciate your dedication to your position, but this is my decision. We’ll have local SWAT with us, and we’re going in last. This will end in an arrest or a suicide.”

Hotch spoke as if to say “and that’s final” once he was done. His tone wasn’t demanding or forceful, but she knew he wasn’t going to give in. 

Her shoulders finally relaxed, one hand coming up to rub at her opposite bicep.

“Please be careful,” she said finally, to which Hotch nodded.

“We will. I’d like you to check in with Reid. He’s looking… off.”

“I already did,” she said simply, full intention to keep her promise. “He’s okay. Said he hasn’t been sleeping well.”

Hotch didn’t look convinced, but let that be her answer without more pushing.

“Alright, well, maybe check again. He won’t ask for help.”

“Don’t you have an unsub to go face without me?” She said, and though she was still frustrated, she allowed herself to push it down with the other emotions, giving him a small smile.

He nodded, turning on his heel and setting off down the hall. 

Kit took a moment to breathe before she turned back to the precinct. Gideon wasn’t standing behind her. She had no idea where he’d gone, actually.

Wonderful. He wants to be confrontational and Hotch isn’t here anymore. He didn’t let you go on the takedown. Did Gideon get to him? Does he not think I’m capable?

“What are you thinking about?”

“Cac!” Kit jumped, turning towards the slightly flushed assailant behind her. “Reid! That’s the third time you’ve done that.”

“What does that mean?” He asked, voice nasal. 

She tilted her head, pulling her eyebrows together as she thought about his question. It felt vaguely familiar.

“What?”

“What does that mean? You spoke Gaelic.”

“Oh,” she said, smoothing out her pants that were not wrinkled, and ignoring the fact that her tongue itched to correct him. Her parents called it Irish, and most people called it Gaelic, but she wasn’t going to get into linguistical nuances with Reid. “I don’t know what I said. You scared me, I reacted.”

“Cac.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, jaw dropping slightly. “What?”

“Cac, that’s what you said. You said ca-”

“Stop!” She all but yelled, her hands coming up in front of her as if to physically stop him from talking. “Okay, yes. I got it. That’s what I said. Please stop saying it.”

He looked confused by her outburst, sheepish even. “Tell me what it means.”

“It’s…” She trailed off, feeling the embarrassment creep across her face. “It’s rude. It’s a rude word.”

“Like a swear word?”

“No, a rude word. Like, that a child would say.”

“Are you trying to tell me that it’s a… bathroom word?” 

Kit watched as Reid’s face morphed into a smirk. Was he teasing her? Reid could tease? She hadn’t been involved in any kind of situation that would warrant Reid teasing her. Was he being friendly?

Don’t think too hard about it. He’s Gideon’s protégé, and Gideon doesn’t like you. 

“No more questions!” She snapped quickly, turning back into the precinct and stalking as far away as she could. Maybe she could find JJ and be of use somewhere with no Reid and no Gideon until the others got back.

-----

“He let us take him,” Hotch said. “He didn't kill himself. Doesn't fit the profile of a workplace killer.”

He, Gideon, Reid, and Kit were standing in the viewing portion of the interrogation room, the four of them staring through the glass at Hill. Kit hadn’t gotten a chance to ask Hotch why exactly she was needed. She figured Elle or Morgan would have been a much more appropriate choice.

“Sometimes you miss the mark,” Gideon said, hands pressed firmly on the top of the room’s table. “Let's be glad we did. He's our best chance at stopping the next attack.”

“Well, his lab had traces of botulinum toxin, but no clues as to what he's up to next,” Hanover said, walking in the room to stand near Gideon. He sounded listless, and Kit could feel the shift in the room when he entered. He was in over his head and he knew it.

Hotch didn’t look towards him, instead staying trained on Hill. “Our only chance is to make him tell us.”

Hanover didn’t seem convinced. “You think he will?”

“Once caught, these types usually do. They want the whole world to know about their brilliant plan to destroy their enemies,” Reid offered him, not sounding very impressed by Hill’s archetype. 

“In case he doesn't give it up, let's play every angle,” Gideon said, angling his body away from where Kit stood at the wall. He wasn’t talking to her, that much was very clear. “We need to re-examine everything we know about this guy.”

Reid shifted on his feet, pressing his hands into his pockets. “I'll check witness reports, forensic evidence, anything that might be a clue to this guy's plan.” 

Gideon nodded as Reid turned to him for approval. “A lot of lives could be at stake,” he said softly.

“I can help you,” Kit offered, keeping her voice level. She wanted to check her notebook for Reid’s medicinal distribution times more than she thought she would be helpful with his paperwork search, but she didn’t want to be in the room with Gideon anymore, and she wasn’t really doing anything just standing around.

“No,” Hotch said, now looking away from Hill and towards her isolated spot. “Colghain, I want you here while Gideon and I speak with Hill. Watch from this side of the glass. I’ll need your input when we’re done.”

“Hotch-”

“Sir-”

Gideon and Kit went to speak at the same time, causing Reid’s eyes to widen. He took his leave from the room quickly, and Hotch raised a hand to stop both Kit and Gideon before they could continue their grievance.

“Colghain will stay here and listen in while we interview Hill. Watch him closely.”

Kit hadn’t even been able to look at Hill during their short time on their side of the glass. He was a killer, and to her knowledge, she’d never been in the presence of one before. How one person could feel they were above so many others, that their feelings and their lives were more important, was lost to her, and she had no desire to look at him at all. Let alone watch him for the duration of his interview.

The room suddenly felt very cramped, though they had lost both Reid and Hanover in the moments of situational discomfort. Hotch’s eyes darted between Kit and Gideon, narrowing slightly as the physical tension in the far-too-small space between the two.

“Colghain,” Hotch said again, now gaining her attention more fully. “I want you at the window. Feel him out.”

She took a breath that seemed to catch in her chest, not able to get deep enough to make the feelings of discomfort go away. Her head nodded of its own accord, and her feet seemed to follow suit, moving towards the window and finally looking at the man sat there.

He wasn’t much. Not remarkable. He looked like a dad she would have seen at afternoon pick-up in grade school. 

But he isn’t a dad at school, Kody. This man hurt people. Killed two of them, and was trying to kill others. He was using drugs and toxins to harm people. What sort of sick person could do that? Not much of a person at all. 

The hatred sat like a weight in her gut, and while it was obvious Hotch and Gideon had no benevolent feelings for Hill, it didn’t belong to either of them. It was all her own. 

Her eyes narrowed through the glass, and she took a breath.

“Okay. Yes, sir,” she said. She heard even footsteps pad out the doorway. Her eyes didn’t move from Hill as she continued mumbling, now directly to Hill though the glass, even though he couldn’t hear her. “Go dtachtfadh an diabhal thú.”

“What did you say to him?”

Gideon.

“Sorry?” Kit said, eyes never moving from the window. She’d thought Gideon had left as well and was following Hotch, not staying behind to watch her.

“What did you say? To Hill.”

She took a breath and turned, eyes narrowing at the older man in front of her. He didn’t want her there anyway, she might as well tell him.

“Go dtachtfadh an diabhal thú,” she said, now louder. Each word was enunciated clearly, eyes not moving from Gideon’s. If he wanted to know, she’d tell him. “It’s something my Gran used to say to people with tattoos after she came to America.”

“And what does it mean?” He asked, mouth in a hard line, eyes searching her for an answer.

“May the devil choke you,” she said simply, voice never wavering. 

There was a moment of silence between them. Kit didn’t shift. She didn’t fidget or rock her weight. She didn’t move her eyes from his.

“Where’s yours?” He finally asked.

She raised an eyebrow at him, eyes never becoming less severe as she tried to gauge his question.

“My what?”

“Your tattoo? Where is it?”

She let out a breath, shaking her head. She hated the way Gideon felt so smug. How it seemed to circle in the air and choke her.

“There it is,” he said, not waiting any longer for her answer.

“There what is?” she responded, not able to keep the bite from her tone. 

“Trouble,” he said simply. His eyes never left hers.

For a moment she considered pushing. Considered defending herself, and telling him that she wasn’t trouble. That she was doing her job, and that he should just let her be.

She didn’t get the chance, though, as he turned on his heel and followed where Hotch had left the room.

Kit stood, staring at the spot Gideon had just been for a long while before she heard Hotch’s voice through the speaker. 

She turned back to the glass, watching now as Hotch and Gideon spoke to Hill. She took in his facial expressions. His body language. The feel of his emotions, though it wasn’t easy through the glass.

She did her job.

When they finished and reentered the room Kit was in, Hotch stood next to her, looking in at Hill.

“I called JJ. She, Morgan, and Elle are headed to the party now.” 

Kit nodded once, eyes still searching Hill as he sat across the glass.

“What did you notice?”

She took a breath, calmer now that Hotch was there, and that she’d had something productive to focus on. “He’s really… sweaty. That probably sounds stupid, but it’s strange to me. He didn’t give me a feeling of regret. He seemed sure of his decision, I guess, until you started to talk about taking his case. Then less sure, but he was sweating before that.” She waited for him to stop her, but he didn’t, so she continued. “He started fidgeting a lot there at the end. I don’t think it was guilt though. More like… discomfort. Like there was something else bothering him other than the two of you doing your interrogation.”

Hotch nodded, turning to look at her now. “He was sweating before we started?”

“Yeah,” she said, “I’m sure of it. That’s one of the things I look for when I’m watching for patients in distress.”

The three agents watched Hill for another minute before Hotch spoke to Gideon, saying, “What is it?”

“You're right,” Gideon said, “It doesn't make sense. Why didn't Hill take his own life when we had him surrounded?”

“Guys, I think we have a problem.”

Reid walked into the room as he spoke at a brisk pace, all sense that there was something wrong with his health pushed aside by his serious demeanor. “I've been looking over the victim reports. One of the victims that was originally dosed was severely diabetic.”

Kit’s eyes went wide, though Hotch didn’t seem to see the issue.

“And?” He asked.

“He wouldn't have taken any candy from the bowl at the bank,” Kit said, eyes flicking to her, and then back to Reid.

He nodded at her and said, “All of the victims were there. We know that, but how were they poisoned? I started looking at the security footage.”

He turned the laptop he was holding. On the screen was the film from the bank, in which Lynn Dempsey was meddling with the candy bowl.

“We know Lynn Dempsey replaced some candy from the bowl. Look how close that jar is to the deposit envelopes. Now, watch this.” He clicked a button, and the film zoomed in to show Lynn Dempsey’s hand on top of the stack of envelopes, right next to the candy bowl. “See that? Her hand is directly in the stack of envelopes.”

“So, you think the envelopes were poisoned as well as the candy?” Hotch asked. Kit took a step closer, eyes looking carefully at the picture.

Reid continued. “As Lynn Dempsey was dying, she kept saying something like "the end, the end." I think that what she was saying was "the envelopes." I mean, what was Hill actually testing? The rohypnol? The LSD?”

Gideon took a moment before saying, “The delivery system.”

“Exactly,” Reid said, “Botulinum toxin and LSD are the only two substances in the world toxic enough to be effective in doses as small as thousandths of a gram. Small enough to fit on the glue strip of an envelope.”

Kit found herself nodding, though no one was looking at her. She might have added more to Spencer’s finding, but Gideon’s words from earlier stopped her. 

Trouble. 

She wouldn’t prove him right.

“But, the CDC didn't find any evidence of poison on the envelopes,” Hotch said, face slightly scrunched in confusion. Grasping at straws, just like they all were.

“They wouldn't have. The envelopes were destroyed after the checks were deposited and processed,” Spencer explained. He started to sound a bit hoarse now, and Kit shifted her weight in sympathy of his discomfort.

“So,” Hotch said, clearly needing to process out loud at the speed he took his words. “like the rohypnol, Hill was using the candy to throw us off. To cover his tracks. To distract us from the fact that he was testing the envelopes.”

Reid was still working it over as well. “What I can't figure out is why would he poison the envelopes to test the punch?”

“Because the punch is a decoy just like the candy,” Hotch offered.

Kit turned to look at Hill. There was something they were missing. Something right there, but they just couldn't see it.

What could he still be hiding?

She watched for a moment as he started to go a bit red, Hill’s breathing seeming strained. She heard Gideon speak behind her.

“He's not finished.”

She felt her jaw go slack as she realized what was happening. Hill was choking. He’d dosed himself with the botulism toxin before he could be captured. That was why he didn’t kill himself. He’d already done it. He was dying.

He’s dying.

“Hotch!” She yelled, moving quickly out the door of the room and around the side. She was pretty sure she didn’t have the clearance to be doing whatever she was about to do, but she didn’t really care.

She heard Hotch call, “Gideon!” behind her, but she didn’t stop. 

She threw the door open, pulling desperately at the chair Hill was sitting in. The chair was heavy, and with Hill sitting on it she struggled.

Hotch came up behind her, helping pull the chair out.

“Get him down on the floor!” She called. She could feel Gideon behind her, trying to move into her space and take control.

“Get his head back!”

“Shut up!” She yelled, pulling at Hill’s arms to release the hold he had on himself as the toxin paralyzed his diaphragm. 

It only took a few seconds before Hill stopped breathing, tongue going slack inside his mouth as his life ended before their eyes. 

“He's dead,” Hotch said simply. 

Gideon was quick to respond. “He killed himself before we even got to him.”

Kit stood to her feet, slamming her hand onto the table, “Damn it!” She yelled, rounding on Gideon. “What the hell is wrong with you?! What the hell-” she slammed her hand on the table again, “-do you think I’m doing here?!”

“Colghain-” Hotch started, but Kit was already making her way out the door.

“I’m calling EMS!” She yelled angrily over her shoulder, pushing past a dumbfounded Reid standing in the hallway, and leaving all three agents in her wake.

Kit was pacing in the hallway once she finished the call. She expected Hotch to reprimand her, or Gideon to be angry with her. Reid hadn’t even said anything, though by the look of him after his revelation about Lynn Dempsey, he was exhausted and didn’t have the energy to try to unpack what had happened.

She considered trying to help him some more. Pump him full of cold medicine and send him to bed. She didn’t. She just continued to pace, infuriated by the way Gideon had tried to take over. He had no respect for her, that much was clear.

Why am I even here? Why am I here with these people who think I’m a joke? Who have no respect for my job or for me? They don’t care about what I’m doing or who I am. They’re stiffs. They’re all stiffs.

“Colghain, come on.”

She looked up to see Gideon and Reid already setting off down the hallway, Hotch in their wake. Gideon’s body language suggested he was frustrated, but Kit genuinely couldn’t have cared less.

“The victims need to ingest the anti-toxin within four hours of the time they were poisoned,” Reid was saying. 

Kit caught up to Hotch, right at his heels. They were moving in a way that suggested action, and she couldn’t pace and fume in the hallway anymore.

“You found the real targets?”

“They’re in the woods.”

“Do we know where in the woods?”

The SUV flew down the highway, and when they got there they were out of their seats in seconds. The four of them vaulted the wall between the car and the campsite, and Kit only slowed when she saw Reid nearly topple over. Was he dizzy? She’d have to check later.

They got to the officers waiting there out of breath, but entirely focused. Nothing but the victims mattered.

“These guys are in bad shape and getting worse by the minute,” the officer that greeted them said.

Hotch almost didn’t let the officer finish before he was asking, “Who's the sickest?”

“That one over there,” the man said.

Gideon didn’t let the officer finish before he was already yelling. “Medic!”

“He’s having trouble breathing. Hyperventilating, I think,” the officer continued, and they moved quickly. 

“What time did he lick the envelopes?” Reid asked, just behind where Kit was walking. Gideon and Hotch were already near the man that was sweating heavily, his breaths wheezing with exertion.

“They said around 12:30,” the officer assured.

Kit let out a breath. They had time. They would be okay. 

She came upon them as Gideon was starting to speak to the man. His tone was gentle and understanding. Not at all anything like he’d ever used towards her. 

The tone she associated with him was scathing. Questioning. When he spoke to the victim, she could have confused him with one of her clinic nurses.

“I’m a federal agent. You're going to be fine. This is gonna make you feel a hundred percent. Relax and breathe. You're gonna be fine.”

“Thank you,” the man said, his voice weak, but the panic flooding off of him reduced to worry. 

Kit moved to another one of the executives, speaking softly and assuringly as they were administered the antitoxin. She wished she could be of more help, but the EMS workers had it covered. That was their job. At that moment, she was a federal agent. Just like Gideon.

She settled in the seat across from Morgan on the jet. He put on his headphones and crashed almost immediately, and Kit envied his ability to sleep so easily. 

Her mind kept drifting to Hill. To the way he died on the floor of the interrogation room. To Gideon trying to get in her way, or take her job as she attempted to help the dying man. To the way she’d yelled at him.

Ari and Monty would never believe it if she told them she’d lost her temper that way. Monty was their spitfire, at least at work. In the clinic there wasn’t a cooler head than Kit’s. But something about the way Gideon treated not only her, but those all around him, bothered her deep in her gut. She watched as he was gentle with Reid, and people he didn’t know, but never with other members of the team.

Now, she figured he probably didn’t tell everyone else they were trouble. She was trouble. Just her.

Her hands moved to help tuck her legs under her, brushing gently on the tattoo just higher than her ankle. A sprig of holly. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he was right. 

She waited a moment before pulling her backpack onto the seat with her. She grabbed the blue pills from where she’d purposefully stashed them that morning, and then sat up taller, leaning over the back of her seat to where Reid had all but thrown himself.

Gideon was sleeping across from him, but she could see that their youngest wasn’t asleep at all.

“Reid,” she said quietly.

He opened his eyes and blinked up at her. “Um, yes?” His voice was rough again, sounding almost congested.

“Here. Before Hotch finishes making his coffee.” She passed over the pills and a bottle of water she’d snagged from the nurses station at the hospital the day before. She’d saved it for this exact purpose.

Reid looked surprised for a moment before sitting up, sniffling before accepting the offering. “Thanks.”

“Mhm,” she hummed, turning back to sit in her seat correctly without another word.

She wasn’t mad at Reid. She was mad at Gideon. He made her feel small, and unimportant, and stupid. That wasn’t Reid’s fault.

But Gideon was Reid’s mentor, and she had no room in her emotional baggage to be friends with the pseudo son of her antagonizer. 

She scratched down the medication in her notebook before shoving it back into place in her bag. A moment passed before she heaved a sigh, glancing to Morgan and pulling out her own iPod. It wasn’t a long flight. Soon she would be back in her apartment, maybe even before Ari left for the day, and she could process about Gideon. She could process about Reid. She could process about Lynn Dempsey, coding in her hospital bed. She could process about Hill dying on the floor, right in front of her.

-----

Kit got to the metro station in record time. The redline had only three minutes until it was supposed to pick up for the night, and Kit pulled her coat tighter around herself. She’d left quickly, only going up to the sixth floor to grab her thermos from two mornings before. She’d wash it before she was due to be in the BAU the next morning, and Hotch had even told them they could have a soft start, since they got in so late.

She was wondering if she should have given Reid the nighttime version of the medication she offered. She didn’t really think about him having to drive home, and drowsy was probably not the best choice for driving across DC on a Tuesday night. 

“Do you have any more water?”

“Cac!” 

Kit spun around, hands at the ready, only to find Reid standing two feet behind her. His eyes were wide, nose bright red, and fever flush covering his cheeks. 

“Reid! What the hell!”

“I thought you said that was a rude word,” he rasped. No one had really spoken after they got off the jet, and Reid definitely sounded worse for wear.

“What?” She said, eyes narrowing. “It is. What are you doing here?”

A wave of confusion came off of him at that. “Um, what do you mean?”

She raised an eyebrow, gesturing to the metro tracks. “What are you doing here at my metro stop?” She scoffed quietly, not letting him have the chance to lie to her. “You can tell Gideon that I take the metro just like any other person. Monty and Ari and I share a car, and normally I’m leaving the office before eleven. You don’t have to, like, spy on me.”

She watched as his eyebrows hit his hairline. He was confused, but she didn’t care. She was tired and her emotions were starting to creep back up on her. She wasn’t going to meltdown on the metro, and she was not going to meltdown in front of Reid. 

Not after what he’d already seen.

“You… what?”

“Yeah, I know exactly what you’re doing,” she continued. Thankfully, the metro pulled up at that moment. She stepped onto the train and turned to face him again, gesturing to his general being. “Also, you look terrible. Don’t come in to work tomorrow.”

“Wait, no, Dakota-”

“Stop.” She said, putting every bit of force into her words, but making sure she didn’t sound aggravated enough for someone around them to try and jump in. The last thing she needed was a good samaritan to misunderstand their situation. “Just stop. Goodnight, Reid.”

He didn’t get a chance to reply before Kit moved away from the door and took a seat. She put her face in her hands and took a deep breath. 

She didn’t notice him step through a door farther down, sinking into his own train seat, fevered forehead pressed against the cold redline glass as the train pulled away from the now empty stop.